Losing an Angel
by Dream-tiger
Summary: "You are wrong again. Shuichi is with someone, me." With those words Yuki's world came crashing down. Is now M because of Yuki's foul mouth and that one part. Can Yuki get Shuichi back or will Shuichi forever be with another man. Unexpected pairing back!
1. Prologue

Hello my little peoples. Here I am and you can't stop me from writing angst. This is my first angst  
  
story so don't hurt me if you aren't crying. Although if you really want to cry then you might be a little  
  
odd. But no one is cool if they aren't a bit odd. So I hope you like this and I do not own gravitation. But  
  
I do own a Chinchilla. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~  
  
PROLOGUE: Darken Shadows ~~~~~~~  
  
He ran down the dark, wet street with liquid flowing down his cheeks. It was raining hard that night and it was difficult to see what was in front of him. The water turned his bright pink hair to a dull red. His violet eyes were blurry with the tears that he cried. It had been two months since he found that note. Two months since he knew Yuki had left him once more. No one knew where he was not even his sister or Seguchi Tohma. This frightened and saddened the young boy. He could only assume at that moment that Yuki had left him. This time there was no way for him to chase him and bring him back. His legs moved rapidly trying desperately to reach a land far away from his suffering. He was leaving Yuki's home in the past. Empty rooms and darken lights Yuki's place had become a nightmare. He tried hard to sleep on the couch but he just couldn't. He had found himself crawling into Yuki's bed drawing ion his scent. That's when the tears started and he let out a noiseless scream. Yuki was gone and there was no one to bring him back. He would never be there to call him names or to kick him out of his home. He would never be there waiting for him at home. Home. He wasn't even sure if he could call it that anymore. He had tried to go to work but everyone noticed his pain. Exspecially Hiro but Shuichi merely shook his head and left early. He didn't want to trouble them with his hurt. Then it became clear that even the mere sight of Yuki's home made him break into harsh sobs. He had to get away from the memories and anguish that this home was made of. He thought that Yuki wouldn't try something like this again but he was wrong. He was always wrong and a screw up to boot. Was that the reason Yuki left him to drown in his sorrow? That he was always annoyed by his very presence. Yes, Shuichi was a nuisance. He was a terrible person. He was always so selfish. Now he was only left with memories. Painful memories.  
  
He even remembered the last things Yuki told him. It was at night before the day he had found out that Yuki left. Shuichi came to Yuki's bed and asked him what he was going to do tomorrow. Yuki smiled at him gently and held him close. This was unlike Yuki to show so much caring towards him. Shuichi nuzzled Yuki's chest as he sighed deeply. He loved the feeling of being so close to the one he loved. Shuichi took a deep breath smelling the smoke scent that lingered on his clothes. Yuki petted Shuichi's soft hair and sighed. Shuichi looked up into Yuki's majestic golden eyes. They were so filled with sincerity and love. Love. It was something he never thought he would see in the blonde's eyes. Yuki took his free hand and placed it on Shuichi's cheek. Shuichi smiled at this gesture. Yuki then brought his face close to Shuichi's and smiled.  
  
"Shuichi." He had said softly almost like a whisper. His voice was so beautiful to Shuichi. Everything about the man was completely beautiful.  
  
"What is it, Yuki?" Came Shuichi's voice making Yuki close his eyes with a small smile. Their lips brushed gently against each other's in a chaste way. There was no passion or lust just sweetness. Shuichi stared back into Yuki's eyes when the kiss broke looking for an answer. The older novelist pressed Shuichi's head into his chest.  
  
"There is something I have to tell you." He told him his voice wavering. It was evident that he was about to cry but Shuichi didn't understand why. "Something I had wanted to tell you for a long time." Shuichi was scared that the words that his lover would utter would destroy his entire world. He feared what would become of him. Then he felt Yuki's grip get tighter and something moist fall upon his hair. He didn't register it at first but soon he realized it was tears. He longed to look up at Yuki and tell him nice things in order to solace him. However, Yuki's hand held his head close to his chest and never once tried to release the young man. "I love you." He breathed softly as he leaned to kiss the top of Shuichi's head. "I love you so much." He didn't hold back the tears as he lifted Shuichi's face and kissed him desperately. As if he was afraid that Shuichi would slip away from his grasp if he didn't. Shuichi leaned back into the bed as Yuki continued to kiss him fiercely. It was the last time that Shuichi would feel such passion for the next day he was gone.  
  
Now there was no where for the young singer to go to. Hiro was on a date with Ayaka and would kill him if he saw him at his door. Then there was his psycho American manager, K, who would probably just shoot him when the pink hair came to view. Why was he even thinking of going near K? He was sure no one would give him a home. After all Ryuichi was in America for a while and it would just be weird being in someone's house without him or her knowing. He could just imagine his friend shrieking in terror, as he believes some burglar had broken in. Shuichi shivered at the thought. It would do him more harm than good. No one else came to his mind that was suitable so he found himself running to nowhere. Then he saw the lights of a familiar bar. He stopped next to the door and tried to catch his breath. He then curled up into a ball and let his sorrow free. The rain was now his new best friend for in the rain no one can see your tears. No one could recognize his wet form and he wouldn't want it any other way. It was so cold. He could just grab some newspaper or whatever he could find around him and sleep there for the night. He was almost certain no one would care. Who would care about poor, pathetic Shindou Shuichi? People passed him without a care what was happening to him. They went on with their lives and never looked upon his face. He was a broken angel. One whose life had been broken into a million pieces. He was not able to put the shards of his broken heart back together. He was never going to be the same for at that moment his wings had been clipped. He was alone. Always alone. He sobbed himself into a cold, wet slumber.  
  
**********  
  
The lights in the bar were frightfully dark. It was raining heavily outside and he almost feared going out. He had been in the bar all night. He hadn't been drinking anything there besides water. His head had been filled with thoughts of work and a certain pink haired singer. Shuichi had not been acting like himself lately since the absence of his lover. The hyper active singer did not open his mouth to let his angelic voice out nor did he smile once. The man knew this all had to have been the work of the one and only Yuki Eiri. If only he knew where the novelist was. He would call him and tell him the situation. Surely they would come to an understanding. He didn't like Shuichi that much and wouldn't care if he was sad or happy. However, this was affecting his music. He had to do something to help the band even if he didn't like the singer. Sighing he grabbed the glass of water in front of him and stared within the cool liquid. He wanted to drown in that glass. The studio was so aggravating he just wanted to disappear. Would anyone miss him? Not fans but people very close to him. Maybe no one would care if some keyboardist died. Maybe no one would care if he just drowned in that cup and-  
  
"Hey we are going to close the bar soon. You should really be heading home." The bartender said with a worried look in his eyes. Why was everyone treating him like a kid? First with Sakano, then Mika and now him. He was old enough to know what time to leave or if he was working to hard or if he was feeling well. Why did everyone treat him like that these days? He wasn't a child, right? Of course he wasn't he was very much grown up and the thought of Mika and Sakano getting all worried about him was sickening. He could take care of himself. He started to feel what Mika's brother probably felt every time she harassed him. No wonder he was so rude to everyone. The bartender looked at him again with a questioning glance. He just shrugged and pushed his glass away.  
  
"You are probably right." He agreed standing up from his chair. "Goodnight." With that he threw down some money and walked to the coat rack. He didn't have an umbrella so he would have to bear with the rain. He grabbed his dark coat and hastily put it on. Looking back at the bartender he smiled at him softly. He didn't want to go back home. A wave of his hand was all the bartender saw as he left the bar. He stepped out into the rain and shook his head. These were times he wished he had listened to somebody. Get an umbrella. That's when he heard a soft murmur next to him. A young boy laid sprawled across the concrete with a light shade of blue gracing his lips. He was cold no doubt about it. That's when he realized who this young man was.  
  
"Shindou-san?"  
  
********  
  
It was a race to the nearest shelter and all that was in his mind was Shuichi's well being. No matter how much he disliked him he didn't wish for him to die. A band lives by their main singer. There was no two ways about it. The closest place he could think of was the home Shuichi shared with his lover. He ran down the street forgetting his car as he held the boy close to him. He was so cold.  
  
"Please don't die Shindou-san." He chanted over and over as he ran towards the building coming into view. The boy had tears running down his cheeks as he murmured something about being hated. He looked like a child. An innocent, broken child. Never mind that he was already a man. He raced to the door at top speed. Why did he forget his car? It was because he was frightened. So frighten. He kicked open the door and hurriedly placed him on the couch. Then he started to remove the singer's wet clothes. He had cut marks all up and down his arms. He never pictured him to be a cutter. His body was so pale and skinny; the keyboardist started to wonder when was his last meal. He let his hand brush against the singer's jaw. Why did he do this to himself? Did he love the novelist that much? He rushed out of the room to grab some blankets and threw them upon him. He had to be fine. He had to just wake up or show some sign he was ok. He found himself crying. Why? He never liked the young man at all. Yet he felt tears flow down his cheeks. He feared that Shuichi would die. He made sure that he tucked the blankets underneath Shuichi. He sighed and took a towel from the bathroom. Propping Shuichi's head up he started to dry his hair. This was so strange and surreal. He never thought that he would be the one to help the pink haired wonder. Sighing he watched the young boy shift uncomfortably. He moved himself onto the couch and place Shuichi's head into his lap. It looked as if the color had returned back to his skin. That was a very good thing.  
  
******  
  
He woke up in a familiar place. Light sneaked in from the windows trying to touch his small form. He heard soft breathing near his head. Was it all a dream? Did Yuki not really leave? His eyes laid on a figure hunched above him. He was sleeping as he unconsciously stroked Shuichi's hair. Was that Yuki? The blurred figure came into view and Shuichi gasped loudly. This caused the other to jump awake. He locked eyes with the young singer whose mouth was hung agape.  
  
"It's you!" 


	2. Chapter one

I'm a bit surprised I have guesses. I feel good about it too. One guess comes from Shila4mm and another from Miru. Both guesses are completely different. Others have even put their guesses in. Like Silverone I think that's the name. Sorry if that's wrong. Let's see who's right. May the best guess win.

* * *

Chapter one: Unexpected Changes   
  
The cab stopped in front of an apartment building. It was a sunny day and the birds chirped happily. However once the tall, blonde man left the cab the birds stopped chirping. He walked silently to his door and unlocked it. He smiled at the thought of a certain pink haired brat awaiting his arrival. It had been two years and he was exhausted. Book tours would do that to somebody. However, that wasn't the true reason he left. He needed to sort things out and have a clear mind. His past had been ruling his and Shuichi's relationship for far too long. He needed to rid himself of everything and build up a new character. Build up a new him. So he had requested that he have two book tours and not just one. One in America and another in Europe. He didn't want to go off for no reason. The horror of what Shuichi would do then. He called up Tohma and told him where he was. That was a year ago. He frequently called him. He asked about Shuichi once or twice but Tohma changed the subject. The apartment was an eerie dark and there was not a sound from anything. This gave the novelist the chills. Shouldn't Shuichi be here saying how much he missed him? Instead he found feminine things in his own house. His furniture was replaced and the walls were blue. Did Shuichi have a girl move in? If he did Yuki was certain he knew where to point her. Right out the door of course. He growled at the thought of another being with HIS Shuichi. He had tried to call Shuichi many times after a few months of the tour. Though it seemed someone changed the phone numbers or the phone was dead. He was almost certain he left a note. He was in a rush that night. His stupid editor told him at last minute. He didn't get to tell anyone what was going on. So he wrote a quick note and left. Didn't Shuichi wait for him? There was a knock on the door. Yuki's heart skipped a beat. He should have known Shuichi would be back. He quickly raced to the door. The thoughts of Shuichi's smile and his cute little voice flooded his mind. It had to be him. Yuki opened it to reveal none other than Seguchi Tohma. The shorter blonde smiled softly at Yuki who only gave him an angered look. This was not what he wanted.  
  
"Thought I would find you here. I was almost scared Mika would answer the door. Then again she is too busy with her lawyers at the moment." He spat bitterly as he replayed the image of Mika yelling at him the night before. Yuki lifted one eyebrow.  
  
"Why would Mika be here?" Yuki asked trying not to notice Tohma's reaction to her name. He wasn't sure if it was hatred or sorrow.  
  
"We divorced Eiri-san." He informed the blonde with a small smile. "Right now she is trying to get half of my money and property. I don't even see why either. She does perfectly fine in that temple."  
  
"Things have changed haven't they? So where is Shuichi?" Yuki asked as he searched the house.  
  
"That, I believe, we are going to have to discuss at my home."Shuichi laughed happily with his band members. They were eating pizza to celebrate their new album that released just that week. They were just happy the whole recording of it was over. It was like the album from hell. One minute they couldn't get the microphone to work, then they couldn't find the melody to some songs, and the next K accidentally shoots Hiro's amp. This made Hiro madder than Shuichi ever dreamed. He then grabbed K's gun a chased him with it. Suguru had laughed at the sight and Shuichi smiled. He had never seen Suguru truly laugh before. Something must be changing his professional demeanor. Shuichi giggled at the thought. After the whole ordeal K had to buy the new amp with his own money. Tohma had offered to buy it but Shuichi told him it wasn't needed. After all K had to learn his lesson. Now K was gently brushing Hiro's long, beautiful hair. It was like a mother brushing her child's hair.  
  
Sakano wasn't present with them as much anymore. After his marriage to a Genji Kisa, he had very little time to spend with anyone. The most disturbing thing is that Kisa looked a lot like Tohma. Shuichi shivered at the thought. Can someone say obsessed much? Speaking of obsessing, Tatsuha had grown to be a somewhat responsible young man. He left his childish obsession with Ryuichi for good. No one knew why. Well except for three choice people.  
  
Hiro and K had moved in together after K's divorce. It seemed they could benefit by both paying half the rent. K was given custody of Michael after proving he was more providing than Judy was. Michael was a little chatterbox at times but Hiro ultimately loved him. Michael was always with them. Even now at the celebration, Michael was chewing on his own slice of pizza. Shuichi looked over at Suguru, who was talking animatedly to Hiro. He had grown to be a very mature adult. Shuichi smiled at the now eighteen- year-old man making him blush in return. A ring broke their small moment as Suguru reached for his beeper. He read it and sighed. Getting up he apologized to everyone about his leaving. K watched his retreating form with a frown.  
  
"With him leaving like that you would think he has a secret lover." He commented making Shuichi blush. Shuichi knew who Suguru was with every night. Apologizing, he lifted himself from his seat and left. K went to protest but Hiro's giggles stopped him. "Oh, you think this is funny?" He asked him receiving a nod. K kissed Hiro's neck softly making Michael sigh in annoyance. It had been a year and a half from the divorce. Michael had gotten use to this act. Even though he was comfortable with having two fathers he would rather them do that in private. He was only seven this was traumatizing.  
  
"Get a room, dads." He spoke in English gaining their attention. They merely smiled at him and patted his head. Being parents were great. Michael loved his dads even if they were icky by kissing.Yuki walked into Tohma's house and noticed many changes. It definitely lacked a woman's touch. Even though it was nice and clean it still looked a bit disrupted. There was a pair of blue sneakers by the door and the walls were a light bagje. They were almost white. There was red carpeting unlike the hardwood floor in the living room. Tohma stood in the doorway of the living room as Yuki continued to stand on the red carpet. Looking down the hall he saw a pink bunny sitting on the brown hall table. Yuki swallowed his breath.  
  
"Is Sakuma here?" He asked as he reached for the stuffed doll. Shuichi had one as well. It was a gift from the brain dead singer, Sakuma Ryuichi. You could barely tell them apart unless you count the ink blotch on Shuichi's. Yes, an ink blotch on its rear end. Yuki had to check the bunny just to make sure that it wasn't his Shuichi's. He had to know. He almost got it when Tohma grabbed it.  
  
"No Eiri-san, Ryuichi-san isn't here." Tohma told him, holding the bunny close to him. It was as if he lost someone or was afraid to lose someone. He mumbled as he put the bunny in the hallway's closet. He peered over to the sneakers. "Those are Suguru's incase you are wondering. He never wears them sometimes I think it was a waste of his money. He lives with me now." He smiled warmly. There it was that fake polite smile.  
  
"So where is Sakuma?" Yuki asked making Tohma frown. Tohma then gave a weak smile as he closed the closet door tight.  
  
"He's in the hospital." He informed him. "But don't worry it's just a sprang ankle. He just wants attention or something." Tohma lightly laughed at the thought of Ryuichi jumping up and down wanting more hospital pudding.  
  
"Then why did he leave his stupid bunny?" Yuki inquired as he stared at the closet door. Tohma laughed lightly once again and stepped towards him.  
  
"It isn't his Kumagoro." With that said Yuki's fear was confirmed. Shuichi.Suguru smiled shyly as the other man walked in cautiously. He smiled back as he wrapped his arms around Suguru's waist. Suguru blushed at this gesture and moved up a bit to steal a kiss.  
  
"So what was your excuse?" Suguru asked the other. "Or did you not tell them an excuse and just left like last time?" When there was silence Suguru frowned. The other man backed a bit and sighed. He felt a little foolish for not giving an excuse. However, when he imagined Suguru's pouting lips he couldn't think of anything else. He had to get to him.  
  
"I'm sorry, love." He tried to apologize getting only a nod in response. Suguru sighed heavily much to the others dismay.  
  
"They could all find out about us." He said softly. "I don't know if I need that kind of attention." The other man shook his head.  
  
"What's wrong with everyone knowing about us?" He asked. "I love you and you love me, right? There shouldn't be a problem." Suguru nodded silently making the taller man pout.  
  
"Don't do that." Suguru told him brushing one hand against the other's cheek. "I'm just a little new to all this." The man leaned in and kissed Suguru gently. Suguru broke the kiss quickly. Dumbfounded the man could only stare at the young keyboardist.  
  
"Naaa Shuichi."

Yuki stepped into the living room. The place was a mess. Games and videos polluted the floor and Tohma had to litteraly hop on one foot to get to the couch. Yuki just kicked the stuff out of his way with his foot. He then sat next to Tohma to observe the scene.  
  
"Terrible Shuichi-san." He muttered. "I told him to clean this up before he went to work but did he? No." Yuki stared at Tohma with wide eyes. When did Shindou-san become Shuichi-san? Also why was he even at the house? Tohma notice Yuki's inner turmoil. "He and Suguru-san were playing video games all night. I couldn't sleep. So I watched them. Shuichi-san won thirteen times before Suguru-san admitted defeat." Yuki watched pride flicker through Tohma's eyes. He didn't know for which boy, however. "Speaking of Suguru, I have something to tell you." Tohma said as he began to pick up some of the videos around the couch. Yuki stared at him intently. Sighing, the shorter blonde lifted himself from the couch and took off his jacket. It was then that Yuki noticed that Tohma was wearing Shuichi's shirt. Not just any shirt but the one he had bought with Yuki two months before he left. It was a tight fitting blue tank top. This puzzled Yuki to no end. "You think that after all this time he would know how to put things away." Giggled Tohma.  
  
"You're wearing his shirt." Yuki pointed out as he watched Tohma freeze.  
  
"Yeah he let me have it." Tohma told the confused novelist. "I found it when I was helping him empty out his luggage." He placed all the videos in a pile and put the games in another. Turning around he noticed Yuki's intense stare. "Oh, I didn't tell you did I?" He said more than he questioned. "Shuichi-san lives with Suguru-san and I. That's why Mika has your home." Yuki continue to burn a hole in Tohma with his eyes. What is he trying to tell me? Yuki thought. "Oh yes, about Suguru." Tohma said changing the subject. "It seems he is going out with someone you know very well. No one really knows but myself and-  
  
"Tohma I'm home! Suguru went shopping so he won't be back for a while." Tohma's face paled as he looked to Yuki.  
  
"Hide!" He commanded as he pushed Yuki behind the couch. Yuki was surprised by the joyful voice that had entered the house. He was surprised to hear that angelic voice once again. His heart stopped beating as he heard the young boy's footsteps get louder.  
  
"Shuichi." He whispered.

* * *

That's the ending of this chapter and I'm sticking to it. Hmmm the next one will tell all for sure who is the victor bwahahaha.


	3. Chapter two

All right this one will shock you or just confirm suspicions. It will explain the other chapters better and well is overall weird. I'm so happy so many people are reviewing this story.

* * *

Chapter two: The Truth

Shuichi walked into the house and took of his coat. It landed carelessly on the floor. He then kicked off his shoes and tossed them near the door. Smiling he started to talk a mile a minute of his day at work. Tohma smiled. It saved him the trouble of asking how Shuichi's day had been.  
  
"Today was great. We had a party for the album and everyone was there. Well except for Sakano. Then later I walked in on Suguru-kun and he was like 'Naa Shuichi.' That made poor Ta-" He stopped when he entered the living room and saw Tohma's frown. An odd smell of cigarettes filled the room. Wrinkling his nose he got closer to Tohma only to have the smell become stronger. "Were you smoking?" He asked unhappily. Tohma's eyes widen as he realized Yuki's clothes must have a strong scent. He smiled softly and motioned Shuichi to sit down. "I noticed Suguru-kun hadn't been wearing those sneakers I bought for him. Oh, and he went off shopping for some new clothes or something. I hope he at least wears them. " Yuki's frown deepened. So Shuichi bought those sneakers for Suguru. He started to have a bad taste in his mouth as he tried to keep his focus on every word Shuichi said. Shuichi sat down next to Tohma and his nose wrinkled again. "It's so unlike you to smoke."  
  
"Well I've been through a lot of stress lately." Tohma said calmly. Shuichi sighed and scooted closer to the older man. Yuki heard the shift of the couch but couldn't figure what was going on. Shuichi noticed that the couch was not as against the wall as before. He went to check what was behind it but Tohma's voice stopped him. "Guess who didn't clean up their mess before work like they said." Yuki sighed in relief and disappointment. He could almost see pink strands of hair from the top of the couch. In a way he was hopping that he could see the smaller man's face. How he missed those eyes and smiles.  
  
"Tohma!" Whined Shuichi as he turned from his curiosity. "I was so tired last night and I had to get to work and-"  
  
"Is that an excuse I hear?" Tohma asked with a smile making Shuichi pout. "Don't do that. I cleaned it up for you. None of my guest needs to know how much of a pig you are." Shuichi smiled and hugged Tohma tightly. The older man gasped for air. "You hug to tightly." He muttered receiving a blush in return. Yuki almost gave a loud gasp himself. Why was Tohma letting HIS Shuichi hug him? They were just living together, right? Then again if two people live together for a long period of time they might become friends. Friends. Yes, Yuki could deal with that.  
  
"I'm sorry." Shuichi told him. "So while we wait for Suguru-kun what should we do?" Tohma frowned. He had to get Shuichi out of the place so he wouldn't find Yuki.  
  
"We are out of milk." He said quickly. "Could you go down to the store and get some more?" Shuichi gave bewilder look to Tohma.  
  
"But there was enough when-"  
  
"I drank it all."  
  
"But."  
  
"Just walked down the street and get some Shuichi-san."  
  
"Didn't I tell you not to call me that? Just call me Shuichi." Shuichi pointed out gaining a nod from Tohma. Yuki listened to their silence in utter bewilderment. Now what were they doing? Shuichi's voice was the next heard. "Alright Tohma, you win." He said making Yuki smile. Being behind a couch was not comfortable. "But if this is an excuse for you to smoke or whatever. You are in so much trouble." Tohma smiled at the young man as he left the house. He then turned to the couch and helped Yuki out from behind it.  
  
"Would you like some milk?" He asked. Yuki just stared at him. He was about to ask why Tohma would be in trouble when he heard the sound of a motorcycle. "Well that must be Suguru-san now." Yuki's face twisted in anger. He started towards the door but Tohma stopped him. His hand clutched Yuki's arm tightly. "What are you doing?" Yuki turned to face him.  
  
"That little brat is with my Shuichi! I'm not standing for that!" He yelled. A visible flash of hurt went through Tohma's eyes.  
  
"You're wrong, Eiri-san." He said softly letting go of Yuki's arm. "That 'Brat' is with your brother, Tatsuha." Yuki sighed in relief. That was better news. Disgusting but better.  
  
"So you mean Shuichi isn't with anyone?" Yuki asked hopefully. He knew Shuichi would have waited for him. He knew he would understand. One year in America and the next in Europe, Yuki had been moving quite frequently. Shuichi could understand the circumstances, right? He was so happy when he heard Suguru was not with Shuichi. He just knew that Shuichi loved him too much to betray him. Tohma laughed lightly once again.  
  
"No Eiri-san." He told him. "You are wrong again. Shuichi is with someone, me." With those words Yuki's world came crashing down.Suguru kissed Tatsuha's cheek lovingly as he gave him his helmet. Tatsuha smiled at his lover and turned his motorcycle back on. Suguru grabbed his shopping bags and gave Tatsuha a quick peck on the lips. The taller man scooped him up in a quick hug wishing he didn't have to let go.  
  
"Goodbye, koibito." Suguru whispered in his ear as he broke from the embrace. With that he skipped over to his cousin's door and waved Tatsuha off. It had only been a few months since the two met at the club. Shuichi had brought him as a friend and introduced the two. At first he didn't know why he was so shy around the younger teen. Then the two were alone in the booth and one thing led to another. Suguru blushed at the thought. It had been his first kiss. Hell, it had been his first make out as well. He was so giddy over the whole thing that what he saw next shocked him to no end.  
  
"Fuck you, Seguchi!" Yelled Yuki at the top of his lungs. "How could you do this to me!?" Tohma was trying to keep a safe distance from Yuki at all times. Yuki wouldn't hurt him would he?  
  
"I love him, Eiri-san. I was hoping we could be friends. I don't want to loose our platonic love." He spoke calmly. Yuki shook his head and he looked ready to kill. How could Tohma love Shuichi? It wasn't possible! He wouldn't let it be possible. Tohma never liked Shuichi at first. Tohma was not the one who found him in the park. Who became Shuichi's lover and announced it on television. Tohma didn't deserve Shuichi. However, neither did Yuki.  
  
"You don't love him! You never loved me either!" He screamed. "You only love the way he needs you! Like the way I needed you when I was little! You love to manipulate the innocent!" A sharp pain went across his cheek. Tohma held his hand close to him as Yuki rubbed his face. Silence washed over the two as old friends stared at each other. They were strangers to each other and now enemies. No longer did Tohma have sympathy in his eyes for Yuki. Now he only had determination and anger.  
  
"I won't have you saying such things in my home." Tohma warned him as he let his hands fall to his side. "I really wish we could look past this." Yuki felt his body shake with anger. The man never did know when to quit. First he took the love of his life and then he wants them to be friends. Yuki had come to the conclusion that Tohma was a sick bastard. He knew that fact before but now it was apparent. Never did Tohma seek out to ruin Yuki's life. He had never saw it coming.  
  
"Look past this! LOOK PAST THIS!" Yuki was about to explode. "How can I look past you being with MY Shuichi! No, Fuck you." Suguru decided to speak up and let the others acknowledge his presence.  
  
"No, Yuki-san." He declared grabbing both the men's attentions. "I believe Shuichi is already doing that." With that Yuki pushed Suguru out of his way roughly. This made Suguru fall to the floor with a thud. Then he ripped open the door and exited out.  
  
"I'll walk home!" He yelled as he threw the door shut. Tohma winced visibly and turned to look at Suguru.  
  
"Milk?"

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Yes, that's a bit shorter. Are you confused? If you are just tell me and I'll help you. I write this fast because I have evil projects so sometimes I mess things up. Exspecially since I'm bilingual I sometimes mix up the way words are said or put Spanish words instead so if I did that I will try to fix it ok? 


	4. Chapter three

Hello my peoples. I am sorry I took a long time updating any of my stories. I have lost my floppy disk somewhere. NOT TO MENTION I LOST A LOT OF INFO WITH IT . This is not my year. Now I'm stuck with Microsoft word. WHY! Anyway I shall do something. I might have addressed someone on my floppy but it's somewhere over the rainbow. I had made a map of Tohma's house for a reference on the floppy but I'm too lazy to make it again. So enjoy.

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Shuichi cautiously entered Tohma's house with the milk he had bought. He was worried because one of the potted plants outside was broken. Maybe some man broke in and hurt his friends or more importantly Tohma. He peered across the hall only to have his eyes meet with that of Suguru. He was standing in the kitchen entrance as if he had just been attacked. His shirt seemed a bit roughed up and he had a deep frown embedded on his face. It was sort of like the frown that- No he had promised himself that it was over. It was always going to be over. Sighing, he gazed back a Suguru who seemed to be a statue in the doorway. Shuichi decided to play it cool. If it was one thing Tohma stressed was not to overreact right away. He dropped the milk on the floor and ran up to Suguru with lightning speed.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?" He yelled making Suguru wince. "IS TOHMA OK? IS HE DEAD? WHAT HAPPENED?" Suguru didn't even have time to react before Shuichi grabbed him roughly by the collar and shook him. He had to find out what has happened. It was killing him inside. At that moment nothing mattered but Tohma.

"Shuichi put him down." Came Tohma's voice from a top of the stairs. Shuichi froze at the sound of Tohma's voice as Suguru ripped himself from his grasp. He brushed himself off and shook his head. This was not his day.

"Why is it that everyone attacks ME?" Suguru exclaimed as he ran into the safety of the kitchen. Shuichi, ignoring his comment, ran up the stairs and hugged Tohma tightly. He buried his head into the older man's chest and let his tears fall freely.

"I was so worried." He stated with a quivering voice. "The pots outside were broken and Suguru looks like he-

"You dropped the milk." Tohma informed him. "Now it's all over the floor." Shuichi calmed down and peered at the bottom floor from the stairs. Sure enough the milk top was broken off and it was pouring like an ivory waterfall onto the red carpeting. That was going to be a call to the cleaners. He looked back at Tohma with pleading eyes.

"Oh Tohma, I'm so sorry." He looked down and sighed. Tohma just smiled at him.

"That's ok." Tohma assured him. "We still have some in the fridge." Shuichi's eyes widened as he moved a bit a way from Tohma. Tohma then began to mentally curse himself for his mistake.

"But I thought you said we were out of milk?" Shuichi asked suspiciously. He started to sniff Tohma's clothes. Without any hints of smoke, Shuichi had no evidence of bad behavior. Shaking his head Shuichi began to think of other reasons why Tohma would lie. Tohma saw this and smiled his best smile. He gave Shuichi a gentle kiss on the lips and sighed.

"Shuichi do you…Love me?" Shuichi didn't know whether to be concern or laugh hysterically. He told Tohma everyday that he loved him. Why would today be any different? "I mean really love me." He added with his eyes begging Shuichi for an answer. Shuichi lifted one hand to rest on Tohma's cheek. He smiled softly a gentle caring smile that that was usually rare to see. This was only because it didn't share the usual hyperness of his nature.

"Of course I do, you know that." Shuichi told him. Tohma wrapped his arms around Shuichi protectively. Sighing heavily, he rested his head on Shuichi's head.

"Would you leave me if Eiri-san came back?" Shuichi pulled away. He looked up into Tohma's eyes with a serious expression. Today was a perfect day for being out of character. Tohma's eyes brimmed with tears threatening to be free. Shuichi felt his heart sink. Tohma was serious this time.

"You are the one I love, Tohma." Shuichi told him. "Yuki is a thing of the past." He knew he had helped him because Tohma's shoulders seemed to relax. Smiling he peered down at Suguru picking up the newly found lake on the floor. He skipped down the stairs not to help Suguru but to get some pocky. Tohma sighed and sat down at the top of the stairs.

"I wish I could believe you, love."

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Yuki sat in his apartment in complete silence. How could he let this happen? He was suppose to run back to him like always. How could Tohma do this to him? His thoughts were interrupted by the door opening. Yuki's body stiffened quickly. If it was Tohma, he will regret the day he even looked at Shuichi. However, the soft clicking of heels stopped him from jumping the intruder.

"Well it seems your back." Came his sister's voice from the doorway. She peered around the room till her eyes met the lone sake bottle next to him. Well that and assorted empty beer cans all, around him. "And it seems you've seen Tohma." Yuki gave her a small forced smile and grabbed the sake bottle.

"I drank everything else." He spoke quietly to not give way his drunken state. Mika stared at the floor.

"Tohma brought Shuichi to the house a day after you left. " Mika grabbed a cigarette and lit it. Yuki just stared at her with pain filled eyes. "I found him holding Shuichi in his arms. Shuichi was weak and Tohma said that he didn't want Shuichi to be alone in your apartment."

"Why are you telling me this?" He asked at the verge of crying. Mika sighed. Who knew he was such an emotional drunk? Mika walked over to Yuki and sat down.

"I should have seen it coming. I thought the way Tohma worried and cared about him was similar to how he was with you. I didn't see the way that tramp had Tohma. Swaying his hips as he walked by, smiling that whorish smile. The next thing I knew I was looking at divorce papers." Yuki shook his head. That did not sound like his Shuichi. Shuichi was too dumb to be seductive, right? Mika sighed heavily.

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Shuichi walked by the shared room of his and Tohma's. Suguru was on the phone with Tatsuha and wanted privacy. The jerk was probably talking bad about him to "The love of his life." Sighing Shuichi opened his door to see Tohma staring at the mirror. Shuichi decided to leave him be. That was until his voice stopped him.

"You're twenty-one now." He stated eyes never leaving his own reflection. Shuichi walked in the room quietly and closed the door. "But I'm thirty-four." Shuichi sighed and walked up behind him. He wrapped his arms around his shoulders.

"You don't look a day over twenty and I don't lack the energy too." Shuichi purred in his ear. Tohma smiled softly and stroked one of Shuichi's arms.

"Let's go to bed." He said almost a whisper. Shuichi's smile got wider and he lead Tohma to their bed.

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Tatsuha slammed his cell phone in his pocket. He just finished hearing the complaints from Suguru about his brother. How could Yuki touch Suguru? He wasn't even part of the whole thing. Tatsuha sighed and jumped in his car. Suguru bought it for him as a present. Dating a famous guy sure did have its ups. He turned on the engine and slammed his foot on the gas. Yuki was going to pay. It didn't take long for him to get there or to go up the stairs. When he got to the top he burst open the door despite his baffled sister.

"Hello Tatsuha." She said awkwardly as he past her to get to Yuki. Yuki looked up at his brother with a puzzled expression. This only fueled Tatsuha's anger. He grabbed Yuki's collar and brought him to him.

"You bastard!" He yelled. "Don't ever lay a hand on Suguru! It's bad enough you have to hurt other people with your carelessness!" Yuki ripped himself from Tatsuha's grasp. His head hung low and it looked like (if he wasn't standing) he would curl himself in a ball. He had a good idea who those other people were. Sighing, he looked up from the floor. He was still a bit drunk but Tatsuha had ignited some rage in him as well. Tatsuha saw his brother's face and immediately grew calm. Yuki walked to the door and flung it open.

"I have to see Shuichi."

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Yay, it's done the chapter that is. Next we will have a T/Y show down and lots of tears.


	5. Chapter four

I would show you the map of Tohma's house...Like I will for the one on another site. However, I am at school and I don't have my disk. Oh and read Ryuichi's Closet... a new fanfic I'm writing. It's a comedy about K and closets...and Hiro...and maybe Tatsuha... any way enjoy this one. I've watched the Phantom of the Opera...hmmm some parts of it, reminded me of later chapters that will come. I'm hearing the soundtrack right now.

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Chapter 4: Way to harsh a boner .

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Shuichi closed his eyes as he felt soft hands roam around his body. It was the only way he could keep his older lover occupied. Away from the worried thoughts that he frequently had experienced. Lately, however, Shuichi wasn't sure who their sexual encounters had been distracting. He let his lips be devoured by his idol, his boss, his lover, his rival. Shuichi opened his eyes to be met with the soft brown ones of his lover. Was it even possible to have so many emotions for one person? How in the few years of his life had hate become love? There was no doubt in his mind that Tohma had hated him but when he was found everything changed. Tohma's lips left his and found his neck. Shuichi gave out a small moan as he felt those skilled fingers fumble with his undershirt. Then he felt those hot lips on his chest and an occasional tongue. Shuichi arched his back as Tohma's kisses trailed down his stomach and- Knock! Knock!

Tohma let out an aggravated growl and stood up. Shuichi grabbed the older man's bare shoulder and pleaded him back with lust filled eyes. Tohma waited for the knocks to cease but they only got louder. Tohma began to pull up his pants making Shuichi pout.

"Let Suguru-kun get it." He told Tohma. Tohma shook his head. He had a feeling it would be better if he had gotten the door. If it had been Tatsuha he would have walked right in, Hiro wouldn't be knocking so much and K would have barged in the same with Ryuichi. No, this was for him and only him. He walked out the door receiving an upset groan from his young lover. Stomping down the stairs, he reached the bottom. Suguru came out of his room and peered down from the top of the stairs. He was curious of who would come at such an ungodly hour. (Probably his words too. XD) Tohma opened the door in one motion only to be met with a scowl.

"What are you doing in there?" Yuki demanded more than asked as his gazed fixed on Tohma's open fly. Tohma buttoned up his pants, his eyes never leaving Yuki's cold, amber ones.

"This is my house Eiri-san." Tohma spat out venomously. "I am allowed to do what I wish." Yuki's frown deepened and he push towards the door. Tohma placed both hands on the door and went to close it. However, Yuki reached to the door as well and pushed it the other way. Now it was a struggle to gain dominance of the door. Suguru could do nothing but watch. He stepped away from the stairs until he saw Shuichi standing from the bed. His shirt was missing and he wore black shorts. He appeared to be flush and confused.

"What's going on down there?" He asked but Suguru only shook his head.

"Eiri-san, stop this now!" Tohma tried his hardest to be loud but not shout. He did not want Shuichi to be alarmed by his voice. Though this thought was not shared by both men.

"Let me see him!" Yuki yelled.

Shuichi stared at Suguru trying to read his face when the voice reached his ears. Was that Tatsuha? If it was then why wasn't Suguru going to greet him? There was something the two cousins weren't telling him.

"What was that?" He asked curiously. Suguru's face hardened.

"Trust me; you do not want to know." He replied unknowing that Shuichi was balling up his fists as they spoke.

"Eiri-san, don't you see you are only hurting him with this?" Tohma tried hard to reason with him but seeing that he wasn't stopping his attack Tohma used his best (what he thought) quality. "If you do not stop I will call the police and I assure you I can make it be a while till you get out of their custody." Yuki smiled at the threat. He was not going to give up on Shuichi. Not now. This was now or never. He had been pulled in to this life for too long. He could never go back to the way it was before. In fact no one in this house could go back to the way it was before.

"You do that you-"

"Yuki?" His voice was like an angel's song to Yuki. He felt himself lost then. Tohma froze at the sight of Shuichi because he did not expect him. Suguru came down holding his eye as if he was punched. Yuki recovered after seeing the younger keyboardist descend and pushed the door open. He offered one hand to Shuichi as he had many times before. His heart quickened and his mouth ran dry. Shuichi could not move nor say a word. Yuki took in his form. So beautiful and innocently seductive. Finally Yuki broke the silence with his deep, dark voice.

"Come to me, Shuchi." It sounded as if he was begging him. As if he couldn't live another day without him. Seeing him like this made Shuichi's heart flutter. Then his eyes met the defeated eyes of Tohma. A man who took him in and gave him all the love and comfort of his heart. No questions asked. No insults given. Shuichi's heart began to sink into his stomach. His eyes peered down at the floor. Anything to not see him. Anything to not see the sadness in Tohma's beautiful eyes.

"No." Shuichi said calmly. It was hushed but Yuki heard it and froze. Tohma's eyes shined with hope but he did not show any other signs of the emotion. Yuki shook his head trying to think of what Shuichi said. Had he heard it wrong? Tohma took this time to close the door on Yuki. He locked the door and sighed.

"Shuichi, I am sorry." Tohma told him walking towards the young singer. "I wanted to tell you but you are so fragile and-" He went to touch Shuichi's shoulder but Shuichi pulled back harshly.

"Don't touch me!" He yelled at the keyboardist. "You lied to me! You are just like him!" With that spoken he ran upstairs and slammed the door shut. Tohma immediately crumpled on the ground and sobbed. Suguru stepped back and sighed.

"I'm not like him." Cried Tohma not even trying to stand. Suguru turned his head from his broken cousin to the door.

"Yuki-san, don't you see you are only hurting both of them?" He asked. Little did he know Yuki was on the other side of the door, hearing everything.

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That's sad. Isn't it. Sorry I was in a hurry. Please review. If you don't I won't have lunch. . Cuz I like chewing on my reviews. XD 


	6. Chapter five

Hello once again. I got a new laptop. You know what that means…. I can now write more stories than ever. Can I get a hoo ha? (Silence) Never mind. In other news the electricity is out and my mom has once again locked her keys in the car. Yes people, this is not the first time and it is not even the first time this year. Heck, it's not the first time in a three month time period. Yes, I know, it's sad. Well anyway, on with the story!

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Shuichi woke up to see Suguru glaring angrily at him. He didn't care what Tatsuha had to say, waking up to THAT was not a pleasant sight. Shuichi sighed and lifted his body from the couch. Rubbing the back of his head, he looked down expecting to be yelled at once again for something he probably didn't do. However, Suguru did not utter a single word. This made Shuichi feel a little confused. Either he was angry at someone else or Suguru finally cracked.

"You know you can't sleep on this couch forever." He finally spoke making Shuichi's eyes narrow. He had slept on the couch many times before when he lived with Yuki. If Suguru thought he couldn't sleep there forever, he was in for a surprise. Suguru placed his hands on his hips and sighed sharply. "You are going to have to face Tohma-san sometime."

"This is none of your business!" Shuichi snapped. Suguru backed up in surprise. It wasn't often that Shuichi would do such an action. Regaining his composure, Suguru pushed his face directly in front of Shuichi's.

"It is when you live under the same roof!" He yelled back.

"Then I won't live here anymore!" Shuichi shouted throwing his hands into the air. "I'm sure Yuki won't mind me staying with him!" By the time he had finished his sentence he notice Suguru had totally froze. His face was pale and he looked like a scared rabbit. Shuichi slowly turned around and noticed Tohma standing near the door. His eyes were glazed over and his body was trembling. He looked from Suguru to Shuichi. He smiled at the two and closed his eyes briefly. A single tear ran down his cheak. Shuichi was having problems speaking. Tohma's face reminded him of something he once was: Broken. "Tohma, I didn't mean-"

"You're going to be late for work, Shindou-san." He told the young singer and left immediately after. Shuichi ran to the door to shout for him to return but he was gone. Falling on his knees, Shuichi started to cry. He lost both of the men he loved and he didn't know which one he wanted back.

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Tohma walked silently into his office and screamed. That's right, Tohma Seguchi screamed. He couldn't take it. He had fallen desperately in love with his once enemy to only have nothing in returned. His ex brother in law, had won the pink haired boys heart. He slammed his back onto the door and slid down to the floor (a/n hey that rhymed). Pulling his knees to his chest he started to sob silently. Why didn't Shuichi choose him? Was it because he was too old? Tohma had been nothing but nice to him since they decided to be together. He turned everything upside down for him. He helped him recooperate from his break up and his illness from the rain. And all Shuichi had done to repay him was to deny him and betray him (a/n it rhymes again). Tohma had a horrible pain in his chest that he couldn't remedy. Every time he breathed it hurt more and more.

"Shuichi." He cried. "Why? ...Why?" There was a knock on his door. Probably his secretary. Tohma told her to leave him be for the moment. However, who answered back was not his secretary.

"Like hell, Seguchi!" Spoke the voice of K. "If you don't open this door, I'm breaking it down." Tohma smiled slightly.

"Go ahead." He told the American. "You'll just have to pay for the damages." Tohma stood up and brushed himself off. He wiped his tears from his face and tried his best to put on his work smile. If there was something Tohma wanted to do when being seen by people who were not involved in his personal life, was to leave his problems at home. K, on the other hand, kicked the door but it wouldn't open. He decided he should ram it. He ran to the back of the hall and then towards the door. Tohma opened the door for K only to be slammed to the floor. K laughed nervously as he jumped from Tohma's feminine form. Tohma stood up his hand trying hard to relieve the pain in his back. "Now you are going to have to pay for the hospital bill, Mr. K." K helped Tohma to his desk. Tohma sighed and sat down in his chair.

"Sorry, Seguchi-san." K apologized hoping Tohma won't fire him…again. Tohma smiled weakly and asked him to explain the purpose of his visit.

"Shuichi came to work a wreak." K spoke in complete seriousness. "Suguru won't tell us why and I am having a problem handling the band. I know that this is personal to you but-"

"It is not my problem." Spoke Tohma as his eyes peered out of the window. "It's your band. You deal with it." K was struck speechless. How could Tohma say something like that? Didn't he care? "Now if you don't mind, I am busy." K left without saying another word. He was going to have to talk to Hiro about what had happened. He dreaded facing his boyfriend after failing to get Tohma to talk about Shuichi. Tohma went back to pretending that he didn't care about that morning. A softer knock was heard on his door. Sighing, Tohma told the person to enter and froze when he saw who it was. Shuichi hung his head as he walked closer to Tohma's desk. It felt like days before Shuichi finally reached his desk.

"Tohma. I'm sorry." Shuichi spoke so softly Tohma could barely hear him. "I didn't mean what I said back there. I was just so angry with everyone I guess." Tohma bolted from his chair and balled his fists.

"Enough!" He spoke loudly. Noticing his outburst he sat back down and smiled at Shuichi. This did not fool Shuichi at all. He knew he had hurt his boss terribly and nothing Tohma said could make him erase the image of him crying at the door. "Shindou-san, I believe you are giving your manager and band mates a hard time." He slowly sat down into his chair as Shuichi remained silent. "Bad Luck will not finish the new album on time if this keeps occurring."

"Stop it!" Shuichi yelled. Tohma looked up at him slightly startled. "Stop pretending like nothing happened. Stop acting like I'm nothing but another employee of yours. Show some emotions damn you!" Tohma peered down at his desk.

"What do you want me to say?" Tohma asked him, his voice sounding dangerously cold. "That it is all right for you to run back to Eiri-san? That I don't mind that you're leaving me after giving you everything I had. EVERYTHING, Shindou-san! I divorced my wife for you! I changed the way I do business for you! Everything I've done is for you! What do you want me to say? I'm happy for you? Well excuse me for being a bit selfish but I am not happy for you at all!" Shuichi shook his head tears streaming down like waterfalls from his violet eyes.

"I do not want to go back to Eiri!" He yelled falling to his knees. "I love you, Tohma. I appreciate all you have done for me and I love you. I want to be with you. You and-" He was cut off by Tohma crashing his face into his chest. Tohma buried his face into Shuichi's neck.

"That's all I wanted to hear." He said holding onto Shuichi tightly. "That's all I wanted to hear."

* * *

Sakano was on his way to Tohma's office. Shuichi after seeing K walk in had immediately run out of the studio. Sakano wasn't sure where Shuichi went but had a feeling everyone else knew about something that he didn't. Seeing Tohma's secretary had gone on a lunch break he decided to just knock on Tohma's door. He heard something strange but he didn't dwell on it. Soon he could hear Tohma's feminine voice beckoning him to enter. Taking in a deep sigh, he prepared himself for the worst. He opened the door to see Tohma sitting at his desk with a smile on his face. Tohma was sitting back in his seat as if relaxing. He must be in a good mood which was great since Sakano had to tell him the news. Tohma stared at him expectantly but said nothing. He shifted in the chair a little bit but remained still at other times. He must have been growing impatient.

"Shindou-kun ran out of the studio." He said seeing that Tohma hasn't stop smiling which was starting to freak him out. "I don't know where he went but… Please don't be angry! I tried to stop him but he was so fast and-"

"Don't let SHINDOU-san worry you." Tohma spoke with his voice faltering at times and saying Shindou a little louder than the rest of his words. Sakano stared at Tohma strangely. "I'm sorry, Sakano-san." He said after seeing his employee's face. "I don't feel very well. As for Shindou-san, I gave him the day off. IN FACT, all of you have the day OFF." Tohma put one hand on his face and looked down to his desk. He breathed in sharply and didn't move much. Sakano just nodded and decided it was best to just leave. When the door was closed behind him, Tohma started to pant heavily and pushed away from his desk.

"The day off, Tohma?" Came a voice from under his desk. "Wow, that's so nice of you." Shuichi crawled up from under the desk as Tohma zipped up his pants. "I'm going to go home. I'll wait for you." He kissed Tohma's cheek. Tohma smiled back.

"What am I going to do with you?" He asked gaining a blush from the singer. "You are too beautiful and, dare I say, tempting." Shuichi blushed even deeper. It's been years and Shuichi still acted a little shy around the sex subject. Funny he could do it but not talk about it. It was rather cute to Tohma. Shuichi walked out of the office and down the hall. The elevator doors opened and he entered slowly. He pressed the first floor button and the doors started to close. He saw the stairway door open down the hall and Yuki walk out towards Tohma's door. Shuichi was about to yell but the doors closed on him.

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Well there you go! What will happen next? 


	7. Chapter six

Guess what! I am at college. That's right my little peeps, I am at the place right now. Here is a summary of my class room experience. My algebra teacher is a goober, my sociology teacher is cool and my English teacher is meek. Next up is Chemistry. Oh joy. Anyway, I have kept you all dying to know what happens to Yuki and Tohma now. Mwahahahahaha.

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Yuki burst through Tohma's doors to come face to face with the conniving keyboardist. After hearing the noise, Tohma was frozen in place. He was looking over some paper work, when Yuki decided to enter. Staring at the taller man for what seemed to him as hours, he noticed the novelist seemed to stare right back at him. Yuki did not appear to be in good condition, however. His hair had yet to be brushed and his shirt was buttoned wrong. His face proved that the man hadn't slept in a long time. The whole situation with Shuichi must have done that to him. Deep in the pits of his stomach, Tohma still felt a little concern for his once-brother-in-law. But even his look of concern didn't stop Yuki's hatred for him.

"We need to talk." Tohma was the first to speak. He did not want Yuki to gain the first word. The man mentioned stayed quiet for a moment to let the thought sink in. It seemed the blonde had not planned on anything that didn't involve beating Tohma senseless. Tohma smiled at him politely, waiting for an answer to be given. Yuki soon nodded in agreement.

"Yes, we do."

* * *

Shuichi pushed the elevator button over and over again, however it did not make the stupid thing go any faster. The door opened once more but on a different floor. Shuichi growled in annoyance. A large fat man squeezed his way into the metal box causing Shuichi to squeak in surprise. Who was that fat man and did he work here? Also if he worked here, why didn't Tohma put him on a weight loss program? Shuichi didn't know the amount of weight the elevator could hold (Because he wasn't interested in the stupid information plaque in the elevator) but he was certain that the man was going to break the elevator. He moved to press another button, so he can get off earlier. Perhaps taking the stairs would be faster and less smelly. However, the fat man was in his way and he couldn't reach the buttons. He tried to push the man out of the way but he wouldn't budge and he also seemed unfazed by this action. 'Great.' Thought Shuichi. 'My ex lover is going to kill my new one and I'm going to die with a man that could feed an entire third world country.' The man looked at him and smiled. Shuichi shrunk into a forgotten corner of the elevator. Unnoticablely he shivered in disgust.

"You're Shuichi Shindou, aren't you?" The man asked. Nodding silently he eyed the floor indicator. 'Curse this elevator.' He thought angrily. "I love your music!" The man interrupted his thoughts. Shuichi inwardly groaned.

"It's always nice to meet a fan." Shuichi commented. 'Just not you.' He added mentally. The fat man turned to face Shuichi so he can speak with him better. Shuichi swore the elevator shook as he moved.

"Can I have your autograph?" He asked happily. Shuichi forced a smile.

"Sure."

* * *

"What were you thinking, Seguchi?" Yuki questioned as he pressed his hands on Tohma's desk. Tohma glared at the broken man.

"I wasn't thinking of hurting you, if that is what you are implying." He told him in a firm way. "I would never do anything to hurt you, Eiri-san." By the time he finished his sentence, tears of frustration was going down Yuki's cheeks. "It just happened. One minute I am helping Shuichi with his illness and the next he was helping me." Yuki looked up with a confused expression. Tohma merely smiled. "Oh, you didn't know? Mika was cheating on me. I caught her in bed with some other man. After her miscarriage I guess she wanted nothing to do with me. Shuichi comforted me. For once in my life I felt wanted. Every other time, I felt like I was an extension of something or a tool to get what another person wanted. Even Mika exploited my popularity. But Shuichi … He loved me with all his heart and took care of me. He never used me for anything. I loved him and he loved me. It was the best feeling in the world." Yuki nodded his head as he tried to hold back the tears that haven't already escaped. He wiped off the ones that had already found freedom.

"I know. It is the best feeling." His voice was barely audible. However, Tohma knew what had been said. He knew Yuki loved Shuichi just as much as he did. "I hate you." Yuki whispered but then raised his voice. "I hate you."

"I'm sorry you feel that way." Tohma responded as he turned to look out the window. Yuki took no time to reach in his pocket and pull out a gun. Tohma continued to stare out the window, thinking about what had just been said. He heard the gun click and his body stiffened. He didn't turn around afraid to look at Yuki. Afraid that he might see his own (who he still considered) brother-in-law holding that gun. Secretly he wished he would hear K's voice and know it was all fun and games.

"One time I was willing to kill anyone who harmed Shuichi." Came Yuki's cold and dangerous voice. Tohma took a deep breath and turned his chair around. He was now looking at death in the face.

"Do you really wish to kill me, Eiri Uesigi?" He asked his past friend. "Do you really want to live with blood stained hands again?" Yuki's hands were shaking uncontrollably and his head slightly moved from side to side. He finally dropped the gun and went down with it. His tears flowed freely now. He tried to cover up his face with his hands. He didn't want Tohma to see him like this.

"No." He sobbed into his hand. "I don't want to live like that anymore."

"Good"

* * *

Shuichi burst from the elevator doors. Anything to get away from that hygiene challenged blimp. He raced up the stairs hoping that what ever is happening with the two that it didn't involve someone dying. He kicked open the door at the top of the stairs and rushed to Tohma's door. It wouldn't budge. He pounded his fists into the door but to no avail. His lover could be dead by now. So he did the only thing he was really good at. He started to freak out.

"Tohma are you in there?" He asked frantically. "Is Yuki in there too? Tohma are you dead? Tohma! " He ran back to the wall and ran straight into the door knocking it open. His body hit the floor with a thud. Peering up, he saw both Yuki and Tohma staring at him with a bewildered and yet concerned expression. Tohma was the first to regain his composure, while Yuki was still staring at Shuichi. Shuichi stood up quickly and pushed a accusing finger into Yuki's face. "You leave Tohma alone! Don't you dare hurt him!" Yuki did not respond to Shuichi. He only stared at the smaller man. Shuichi was starting to feel very uneasy because of his glare. Then he saw it. Yuki's eyes were clouded with tears. None fell from his eyes but the promise of such was evident in his eyes. Shuichi took a step forward and investigated the look in Yuki's eyes. Tohma swallowed hard as he watched Shuichi step closer to Yuki. Turning his head from Shuichi, Yuki let go of a breath he didn't know he was holding. Shuichi sighed and looked down at the floor. Quickly Yuki walked away from Shuichi.

"This isn't over, Tohma." Yuki informed his old friend. Shuichi stared at the two blankly.

"It never is." Tohma replied. When Yuki left the room, Shuichi practically jumped on Tohma's desk to speak with him.

"Tohma, what happened?" He asked him. Tohma stared at the door with a saddened expression. Shuichi ceased questioning him to observe his face. "Is there anything I can do?" Shuichi finally spoke after a period of silence. Tohma slowly shook his head and smiled.

"You've all ready done so much." He told Shuichi and gently put him in a weak embrace. Shuichi let his behavior go since he believed it was brought up by Yuki.But the fear was still there. Tohma saw it when Shuichi approached Yuki. Shuichi still loved him. The two walked out of the room together. Tohma said they would take a brake from their jobs. After what had happened who could blame them.

The lights in the room turned off and all was left to silence. However, it lay upon the floor. The sun shine crept in from behind the blinds and shined on its smooth surface. It was reflected to the celing. It was so spotless but so lonely in the middle of Tohma's floor. Its past was unknown but its presence was menacing. Yet its presence on the floor was a sign of life and happiness. It was the gun, alone and beautifully dangerous. Not unlike its handler.

* * *

Sorry had to put that in there. It's foreshadowing something. Man I just realized I am in as bad shape as Yuki was. I should at least brush my hair….I'll do that. 


	8. Chapter 7

Hiya again. Here is my attempt to get you an update. Oh and I don't think I have a social studies class. I have sociology class…like I am in it right now. However, my teacher is just drawing a stick person…stick people are cool.

About the phantom of the opera rhyme thing, I meant for that. I am glad at least one person realized I got it from the Phantom of the Opera. When I watched the movie and heard the original soundtrack I thought back to the story and noticed the many similarities. So I thought of the music while I wrote it. 

I did brush my hair. I'm going to dye it reddish brown. My hair is such a dark brown it's almost black.

I'm sorry I didn't have much going on in the chapter before it but when ever I write a story I have the idea down in the beginning and as the story progresses I have a harder time knowing what I want. Plus I am LAZY! Not just lazy but LAZY. So hate me if you must but that's me. Miss procrastinator. I shall try to make this one cooler or at least more interesting.

* * *

Yuki walked into his apartment (or his sister's now). His sister was sitting on his couch smoking a cigarette. Yuki's eyes narrowed at the older woman and his mouth formed a deep frown.

"Why didn't you tell me you were being unfaithful?" He asked her. Mika shrugged. She seemed unfazed by his question. Letting her self stretch out more on the couch, she took another drag.

"It didn't seem important." She spoke matter-of-factly. Yuki turned from her with a growl.

"How dare you call my Shuichi a whore when you were sleeping around, Mika!" He yelled as he reached the balcony window. He smacked the glass and dropped his head on it. "You should have loved Tohma. Maybe then he would leave my Shuichi alone."

"My Shuichi. My Shuichi." Mika repeated with a laugh. "He's not yours anymore. Get over that." She sighed and noticed Yuki's form on the window. "You need me to help you, brother. You want Shuichi and I want revenge." Yuki nodded softly. He turned to look at his older sister indicating that he will listen. Mika's smile grew wide.

"I'll do anything." Yuki muttered.

"Splendid."

* * *

Shuichi watched Tohma sleep. He looked so pretty, like an angel. This made Shuichi think of another blonde angel. 'More like a demon.' Shuichi thought. He heard a soft knock on the door. He was going to wait for Suguru to get the door but his memory told him to do otherwise. Suguru couldn't take the drama going on so he decided to have a sleep over at Tatsuha's house. (a/n ooo sleep over) Shuichi slowly went down the stairs and looked at the door. No one was knocking anymore. Had they left already? Shuichi shrugged and without thought peered down. There sat a lone piece of paper. Raising one eyebrow, Shuichi picked up the piece of paper.

"Meet me where it all began."- Eiri.

Shuichi read the paper over and over again before deciding that it was not a joke. Looking around he made sure Tohma wasn't lurking somewhere. (a/n hmmm Tohma lurks haha) He then proceeded to rip up the piece of paper and throw it into the trash can. Staring inside the trash can, Shuichi found himself in an internal battle. Should he tell Tohma about this? The obvious answer was no. Whatever happens to Shuichi happens to Shuichi alone. Besides it wasn't like Tohma has been completely honest to him. Shuichi let a small smile escape his lips.

"Baka." He spoke. "Baka, baka, baka." He resisted the urge to laugh in fear that he might wake Tohma. "Who's the baka now, Eiri?"

* * *

Yuki sat on the bench alone. Mika's plan kept ringing through his ears. She wanted Yuki to just steal Shuichi away. She then would drag Tohma's name into the dirt by saying he was having an affair with Shuichi when they were still married. Yuki was to take him somewhere far away so Tohma could never find him. That way Shuichi can't say that Tohma wasn't with him then and even if Tohma gags the media, people will still think of it. It would ruin his image forever. But Yuki couldn't do that. He couldn't grab Shuichi and take him away. He wasn't even sure that Shuichi wanted him anymore. Hell he wasn't sure if Shuichi would even show up. Sighing, he grabbed a cigarette from the pack. He reached in the other pocket in one swift motion and brought up the lighter. After lighting the stick he inhaled and let out a soft exhale.

"You know that is bad for you." A voice piped up slicing through the silence. Yuki immediately threw his attention to the pink haired man who owned that voice. Shuichi walked slowly towards the bench and took a seat next to Yuki. Yuki was speechless; he didn't think that Shuichi would come. Now that he was there Yuki didn't know what to think of it. "Why did you leave without telling me?"

"I did call." He pointed out. "You never picked up. I don't like leaving messages so I tried to call you back later. After a few months the stupid phone said it was disconnected."

"Yeah and I started living at Tohma's house so I found no point in paying the bills at your apartment. Tohma didn't want me to stay there because it made me depressed." Shuichi said quietly. Yuki looked away feeling anger wash over him at the mention of Tohma's name. "You left a note that said: "Had to leave early. Sorry." What was I suppose to think? And the way you acted that night."

"If you were listening to me the first couple of weeks you would have heard about the book tour! And as for the way I acted I had a nightmare of you getting hurt before you entered the room!" Yuki spoke his voice level rising. Shuichi eyebrows perked up at the last thing Yuki said. Yuki blushed. That was not what he planned to say. Now he said an embarrassing truth but Shuichi didn't dwell on it long.

"A book tour doesn't last two years!" Shuichi yelled, surprising them both. If Yuki wasn't so angry at the comment he would have mentally thanked Shuichi for not mentioning the latter part of his argument. Yuki jumped up from his seat and turned to face his once lover.

"It does when you are going through Europe and America!" Yuki practically screamed. Seeing Shuichi's fearful face, Yuki calmed himself down. "I called so many times but the phone said the line was disconnected. So I called Seguchi and asked him about you. He told me you were fine and he would tell you I called. I asked him where I can get in touch with you but he said your phone was disconnected due to the negligence of paying the bill. I thought he would tell you and it would be all right. I thought you would wait for me."

"You called Tohma?"

* * *

The sun crept in from the blinds onto Tohma's face. Silently cursing, Tohma flipped over to check the time. Instead of turning to an empty area and his desk, the area was occupied. Tohma peered up and analyzed the man in front of him. His pink hair was a mess and a frown appeared on his delicate features. It was strange to see a man that is either crying or smiling look down at you with anger. Tohma sat up from his bed and rubbed his eyes. He then looked back at Shuichi bewildered by why he was staring at him in such a way.

"Shuichi-san why are you-"

"You lied to me." Shuichi spoke softly. "You lied to me again. How can I trust you Tohma if every time I turn you've lied to me?" Tohma looked as if he was thinking of what words to respond with.

"What exactly are you talking about?" Tohma asked him. This had two different reasons. One of the reasons he asked Shuichi was to figure out which thing he lied about and the other was to retain his innocent façade.

"Why didn't you tell me Yuki called?" Shuichi asked. Frowning Tohma processed what Shuichi said. He looked around nervously.

"What do you mean?" Tohma asked his voice obviously wavering. Shuichi sat on the bed and crossed his arms over his chest. He stared at Tohma who looked like a frightened rabbit.

"He called when he was gone and you never told me." Shuichi stated. Turning his head from his lover, Tohma tried to think of what to say.

"He called a month after you fell ill." Tohma told him. Shuichi's eyes widened in shock. That was only a month after he left. "I told him that you were fine and you were staying somewhere else and that I wasn't sure where. I know I lied to him because you were in the hospital but I knew if I told him the truth he would come back. After what he did to you, I was prepared to make sure he didn't see you until you felt well. It might have hurt you." Shuichi shook his head fiercely. He knew Yuki must have called many other times and he could imagine what Tohma did.

"What happened with the other calls?" Shuichi asked cautiously. Tohma began to explain how Yuki called complaining about the phone disconnection and Tohma assured him that Shuichi was just didn't want to pay the bill anymore. When Shuichi and Tohma got closer, Tohma proceeded to tell Yuki every time he called that Shuichi was busy with a tour or an interview anything to keep him at bay. He became selfish and wanted Shuichi for himself. He didn't believe Yuki deserved Shuichi after the circumstances. Shuichi put his hand on his mouth.

"How could you do this?"

* * *

"So did you do what was agreed?" Mika asked Yuki. Yuki shook his head. He couldn't bring himself to do any of it. Tohma was still special in his heart. He held him in his arms in New York. He protected him and cared for him. Shuichi loved him and protected him as well. How could he ruin the lives of two people he loved? How could he bring himself to hate them as much as he wanted to? "Well then I guess this calls for a drink or at least many." She said getting back into her car and driving off. Yuki was left stranded on the side of the road. Mika drove him there and Mika left him there. He didn't mind walking home and he knew Mika won't be there for a while. She was going to get drunk probably. 'The hypocrite' Yuki thought. He began to walk down the street.

He began to walk down a familiar road. It was the road Tohma lived on. He cursed the fact he had to go down this road to get home. It was the shortest way to his house. He was kind of glad that there wasn't anybody on this road at thistime of day but it was still unnerving to walkthere.He heard a slam behind him but he paid no attention to it. It was when he heard the next thing that made him turn.

"I'm going to Hiro's place so don't you dare follow me!" Shuichi yelled. Tohma opened the door tears streaming down his face.

"I'm sorry I just wanted to protect you." Tohma spoke between sobs. Shuichi looked concerned but turned from the older blonde.

"I just need time to think. I still love you, Tohma." He spoke calming Tohma down. "How can you protect me from pain when you can barely protect yourself from it?" Tohma looked down and nodded. He signaled that Shuichi could leave and he wouldn't try to stop him. Shuichi nodded back at him.

"Can I drive you there?" He asked quietly. Shuichi shook his head.

"No, I think it would be better if I walk." Silence followed those words and soon the door closed softly. Shuichi wiped a tear from his eyes. He didn't want to hurt Tohma but he couldn't trust him anymore. He needed to think about everything.

"A beautiful dayisn't it?" Yuki was the first to speak. Trying everything he ever wrote about in his novels to gain the boys undivided attention. "I don't think you should walk alone." Shuichi frowned.

"I don't think I should walk with you." He stated matter-of-factly.

"What does your heart say?" Yuki asked. True he sounded like the cliché garble written in all happy love stories but it seemed to work on the boy.

"It tells me to go back to him and to go with you." He spoke softly. Yuki sighed and decided to leave Shuichi to himself. He wasn't going to do much help staying.

"You can't have both." He mentioned as he left the scene. Shuichi watched him leave with a sigh.

"I know."

* * *

I got another one done. I'm sorry is it uneventful? Too eventful….too fast what! AHHH my brain is melting! 


	9. Chapter 8

Well I know that many of you are just aching to know what happens. So….here I go!

* * *

K nudged the lump with his gun. It didn't move. Sighing he nudged it again. Where was Hiro when he needed him? Oh that's right. Hiro was taking Michael to school. K still couldn't believe he won the custody battle. He shouldn't have been shocked about it though. After all, he had more time for the child and Tohma's lawyers. He soon discovered his feelings for the guitarist afterwards and got him to move in with him. Now after all they have been through, Hiro left him with this. This lump on the couch, that didn't bother to move. He groaned. There was no work today (Tohma told him so) and he wanted to watch the television or something. He couldn't do that if the thing on the couch won't move. He nudged it again. This time it shifted slightly. 

"I'm going to count to three." He muttered to the offending creature. "If you are not off the couch on three I'm going to shoot you." The lump stopped burrowing itself into the couch as if contemplating those words. K loaded his gun and smiled down at the unsuspecting thing. "1, 2, and-"

"I'm up!" Shuichi screamed as he revealed himself from under the blanket. K's eyes narrowed. He was looking forward to shooting at the pop singer. Was he allowed to do such today? He always had something he was prohibited from doing. Hiro would usually tell him to do something or not do something everyday. Now what was it that Hiro said to him?

_"K." Hiro spoke as he helped Michael get in his jacket. "Shuichi is my friend, as you know, and he's been having a rough time. Please try to be nice to him and don't shoot at him for someone's sake! I don't feel like having to fix the damages again."_

K thought about this for a moment and shrugged. What Hiro doesn't know won't hurt him and besides he was sure he could clean up the mess.

"You didn't say it funny enough!" He yelled like old times and shot at the helpless singer.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Tohma Seguchi wasn't one to lose. He hated to lose. If he wanted something he would try any dirty trick to have it. He was a dangerous man and everyone knew it. But Shuichi had the power to make him feel weak. Shuichi had the power to make him harmless and frightened. Sitting at the coffee shop he tried to think of all the reasons he might have been dragged here. A motorcycle parked right outside the coffee shop. Tohma sighed. Ah, the never ending visits from a faithful friend. He had the honour of having one of those visits in the beginning of his relationship with Shuichi and now one at the end. Tohma stopped. 'No.' He thought. 'Not the end. It's just a rough patch it will be solved.'

Hiro took off his helmet and pushed off his bike. He just took Michael to school. The young boy loved going on his motorcycle. Hiro sighed as his eyes locked on the coffee shop. He hadn't told K what he was doing after he dropped off Michael but what K didn't know wouldn't hurt him. Right?

"Ah, Nakano-san," Tohma greeted the guitarist as he entered. "What do I owe the pleasure?" Hiro stopped for a moment and smiled. He had to admit for a man, who was crying yesterday, from what Shuichi said, he looked fairly happy that day. Perhaps it was because he wasn't very close to his boss that he couldn't see the sadness behind that polite smile.

"Look, I want what's best for Shuichi." Hiro started as he sat down. "However, from the news I got from him; I don't know who the best choice is." Tohma frowned. He knew this was going to happen. He sipped on his coffee and peered out the window. "Why did you lie to him?" The question was so silent that Tohma barely picked it up. He looked back at the guitarist.

"The question everyone seems to want to know isn't it?" Tohma spoke softly. "Would you believe it was because I was afraid to lose him? I didn't want him to go back to Eiri-san and I certainly did not want him to be hurt again. You said it yourself that there was nothing healthy in the way Eiri-san dealt with Shuichi-san." Hiro shook his head.

"But it _was_ healthy to Shuichi." He mentioned. "Yuki Eiri made Shuichi happy." Tohma looked away from Hiro and peered out the window. "I'm not choosing him over you or you over him. I just want you to get your side of the story straight before you see Shuichi again. He's hurt Tohma. Not because of Yuki but because of_ you_. He trusted you and you are now challenging that trust."

"I am telling you the truth, Nakano-san." Tohma told the guitarist. Hiro smiled softly and nodded his head.

"You should have told _him_ sooner."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"I don't know what to do." Shuichi told the man sitting in front of him. He looked down with confused eyes. K only watched him go through an inner battle. Perhaps this was an inner battle that has been going on for years. "Hit me, please." K let out a chuckle.

"You don't follow that with a please." He mentioned as he gave him another card. "I can't tell you who to choose but I can tell you how to decide." Shuichi looked up and sighed. What was he to say? This decision was tearing him apart.

"Anything will help." He said softly.

Hiro entered the room to hear laughter. He smiled. He was glad to know that his friend was feeling better. However, when he peered around the corner his eyes narrowed. There were bullet holes in the furniture. The room was completely a mess and not to mention Shuichi and K were not even giving him their attention. The two were enjoying a joke perhaps over a game of cards. K was holding his stomach laughing and had yet to notice his lover's presence.

&&&&&&&&&&&

"K!" Hiro almost yelled at his lover. "I told you no shooting at Shuichi and I bet the first thing you did when you saw him was just that. What did you think you could do clean it up before I got back?" Shuichi looked at K and smirked. Hiro was completely right. The first thing K did was shoot the singer when he saw him. K pouted. He had a sneaky suspicion that Hiro could read minds.

"Oh well what took you long, Hiroshi!" K countered with an attack of his own. Shuichi just watched smiling. No this fight wasn't going to end with something terrible. K and Hiro always fought over something at least once every two weeks. It is never over anything serious and it is always amusing to watch. "You have been out for longer than it is to take Michael to school even with traffic! Where have you been?" Shuichi stifled a giggle. They were like an old married couple.

"I was meeting someone, ok!" Hiro told the older man. K stopped and placed on hand on his chest. He lifted his other hand and held it dramatically over his forehead.

"Hiro, my love, found someone else." K cried. "Tell me who this man is. I will pump him so full of lead that I'll be able to use him as a pencil." Shuichi's eyes grew wide as Hiro started to laugh.

"Silly." Hiro spoke softly. "You're the only one for me, even if you are a lunatic." He added the last part with a mutter. He then turned and smiled at Shuichi. Their argument was over. "Shuichi," his friend called him in his usual calm tone. "What made you feel better? I know it couldn't have been the trigger-happy, dumb blonde over here." K's eyes narrowed at Hiro's comment.

"I actually came up with a plan thank you very much." K spoke with much disdain. "Just because I'm blonde doesn't make me stupid. You can't be the only one with the brains, Hiroshi!" Hiro lifted one eyebrow. Being trigger happy must be a compliment in K speak.

"But you're the one with the beauty, K." Hiro told his lover trying to get back on his good side. "How can't I be the one with the brains?" K stopped looking angry and smiled.

"Ok!" He exclaimed. "You sweet talker I forgive you." Hiro smiled happily.

"K-san, suggested that I date both of them and choose after wards." Shuichi spoke. "Of course he will make sure none of them sabotage each other dates." Hiro lifted one eyebrow.

"That's it?" Hiro spoke. "That's your big plan?" Hiro was expecting something a little more extravagant and strange. K pouted.

"I thought it would help." K spoke like a little child speaking to his mother. Hiro sighed and laid his head in K's lap.

"If Shuichi wants to do it then we will let him." Hiro informed the two. K smiled victoriously and kissed Hiro's forehead. "But I still want you to fix this room." K frowned and pushed Hiro off of him.

"No way, this is my day off." He told his lover. Hiro's eyes narrowed.

"Don't make me shoot you with your own gun!" He exclaimed. K ran off and Hiro grabbed the gun. Shuichi just started to laugh. Leave it to those two to make him forget everything.

* * *

DONE! Well at least with this chapter. 


	10. Chapter 9

Hello it is I. Sorry but I have been feeling rather sick lately. I feel so weak lately but despite all that I am still typing up the next chapter. Rawr.

* * *

"No way." Yuki spoke slowly in a cold stern voice. Shuichi's smile faded. Tohma who was sitting next to Yuki was nodding his head. They were both seated in a booth of an Italian restaurant. It was a nice, not very crowded place. This was a good thing seeing what two people were seated dangerously close to each other.

"I agree with Eiri-san." He spoke causing Shuichi's jaw to drop. He was certain that Tohma would take his side. No matter what Tohma would say it was evident to Shuichi most of the time: Tohma was whipped. However, now he was going against what Shuichi wanted. "It is not umm how you say-"

"It's a stupid idea." Yuki spoke matter-of-factly. Tohma turned to him and glared daggers.

"No need to say it so rudely." He growled. Yuki shrugged and glared back. Shuichi looked from both people and sighed. At this rate they were going to kill each other before the dates. The whole idea that they have been acting civil towards each other all night was freaking him out. K had told him he had to ask them both what they thought about it. He thought maybe over dinner they could discuss the situation. After all he thought they might be happier with a full stomach. Of course they started out angry at each other almost about to make a scene but Shuichi announced he had something to speak with them about. He wanted to date both of them in order to choose. Yuki was starting to get the weird feeling this dinner was like a three way date already. He hadn't even agreed and he was already sucked in.

"It's not fair." Yuki spoke up. "You live with him." He then gestured to Tohma who just smiled back. Yuki glared.

"Then I'll live with Hiro and K, I'm sure they won't mind." Shuichi spoke making Tohma's eyes hit the floor. Yuki raised a questioning brow.

"They won't mind?" Tohma finally uttered after a prolong silence. Shuichi shrugged. They hadn't told him otherwise. Had they?

_"If I find your sorry ass still here complaining about who to choose, I will make you into a Connect Four set which would be handy since I want to play the damn game but I have no set…But I digress." K spoke shinning his gun. Shuichi stood there idly wondering what the game Connect Four was and why K was threatening him with the stupid game. K just glared at him angrily. "Because of you I haven't got any from Hiro! You have bad vibes dude! Get out before I will be forced to use my Christmas present that I'm not suppose to know about but saw anyway on you." He then pulled out a very shinny new gun. To Shuichi every gun was the same to him. This one was a bit longer and slender than his usual hand gun. It had some pretty decorations on the sides as well. Shuichi walked away from him slowly. Why Hiro found the man attractive he would never know. _

"Actually I think one of them would." Shuichi admitted. Yuki lifted one eyebrow as Tohma nodded silently. 'Had to be K.' He thought.

"Then there is no way I am going to be doing _this." _ Yuki stated and turned to look for the waiter. He needed something to eat, preferably a dessert. Tohma smiled at him again.

"Oh, it's your loss." Tohma told his once good friend. "I guess I win by default." Yuki whipped his head back at Tohma with fury evident in his eyes.

"Now wait just a damn minute!" Yuki yelled at Tohma. "There is no way my brat-"

"He isn't yours anymore and besides," Tohma stated with all intentions of baiting Yuki. "He's quite a _man_ not a brat." Yuki growled and went to attack Tohma.

"Yuki stop it!" Shuichi yelled causing the men to settle back into their regular seats. Yuki smiled at Shuichi. It wasn't often anymore that Shuichi called him Yuki. "Please no fighting. I can't live with you Tohma because Eiri is right. I am going to have to live on my own."

"Are you sure you can do that?" Tohma asked worriedly. "You've never lived alone before." Shuichi sighed and looked down. That was true. He had never lived alone in his life. He always had someone with him. Yuki watched as Shuichi thought about his living quarters. Mika was very pissed off at him now. She had locked him out of his own apartment. Someone needed to show that woman that he pays the rent for that stupid place. He had nowhere to go either. Shuichi knew this though. The conversation about it had happened during their talk about how it was going in their lives. Tohma sounded miserable when he spoke about how the last couple of days without Shuichi were going. 'It serves him right.' Yuki had thought happily.

"Since Suguru will be in Kyoto with Tatsuha for a while." Shuichi spoke with a strange happiness. "Eiri can live with us."

"No. Way." Yuki spoke completely shock and appalled. "I am not living with him." He then pointed at Tohma. Tohma shook his head.

"I am not having him in my house, eating my food." Tohma told Shuichi sternly. Shuichi shrunk in his chair. How was he going to work this out? He needed K. But in order to get K he needed Hiro and Hiro was at Michael's parent teacher conference. This was only because they banned K from ever setting foot on that campus again.

"You don't want me to live all by myself do you?" Shuichi asked innocently unaware on how devious it sounded. Tohma stopped chatting away about Yuki's bad habits and thought about this fact. Yuki sighed. He remembered what happened last time he left his ex lover alone. It was the reason why he was his EX lover.

"No, Shuichi-san." Tohma answered the younger man. "I do not want that." Yuki sighed and nodded slightly. He had to agree with his rival on that one.

"So what do we do?" Yuki asked everyone at the table but he knew what the decision was. Yuki, Tohma and Shuichi were all going to live under one roof. They were going to date and then Shuichi will have to choose.

"You need a time limit, Shuichi-san." Tohma suggested. "After all I know you wouldn't want to lead us around by the nose forever because you haven't been able to choose."

"A week." Yuki spoke. Tohma glared.

"You expect poor Shuichi-san to be able to figure it out by then?" Tohma asked giving Shuichi an apologetic look. Yuki rolled his eyes. Leave it to Seguchi Tohma to try to get brownie points so soon.

"Stop babying him." Yuki told the older keyboardist. Tohma shrugged and smiled wickedly.

"Stop being impatient." He teased trying to sound as professional as possible. It was hard for that to happen since now they were squabbling like children. Shuichi sunk down further into his seat. Maybe he could disappear.

"Stop getting on my case, Seguchi."

"Stop being a complete moron."

"Oh shut up! A week isn't that long."

"Three months will give him enough time."

"No Seguchi a month should give him enough time."

"Two months"

"A month and a half."

"All right Eiri-san, have it your way." The decision was made and the two blondes looked very satisfied. Shuichi shook his head and looked from both men. The two were silently enjoying the desserts that the waiter came by with. Obviously Yuki must have ordered some in between conversations. Shuichi sighed heavily.

"Don't I have a say anymore?"

* * *

Well duh Shuichi has to tell them about the arrangement. Also Yuki has no where to stay! Mika wasn't really happy about him. I felt bad. Yuki needs somewhere to stay. Suguru was in Kyoto so BAM Yuki can live there. Also K wasn't thrilled with Shuichi living with them it isn't very evident in the previous chapter but it was still there. He wasn't enjoying the pink haired pop star's presence. So I had Shuichi get kicked out. Hiro can't help you all the time dude. Besides I had to live with my ex boyfriend and have my current one stay with us so it can't be too bad right? I mean they both liked me and they insulted each other but they never attacked each other… At least not that I know of. 


	11. Chapter 10

Ok I know I took really long to update this one. But when I write I don't put much forethought into it. So after I wrote the last chapter and then posted it I was like yay. Then when I read it over I was like O.O. How the hell am I going to pull that off? Then I was like hey isn't this angst? Now it actually might be funny…uncool. Angsty humour is something I never really considered…Alright it's hard to make K angsty and unfunny. So I had no choice but to portray him as a lunatic. So it took me a while to answer the question: What now? Just so you know I have 13 or so ongoing stories, college, 21 animals and chores so I am pretty much booked. So it never gave me time to think of this. But low and behold. I had two hours to spare in the library. There has to be some inspiration for writers there. It's a library! I got sort of…. not really… inspired!

* * *

"And this will be your room." Tohma spoke as politely as he could. If looks could kill, Tohma's body would have been mutilated in seven hundred different ways before finally put out of his misery. Even though Tohma noticed Yuki's glare he didn't even flinch. Shuichi was following close behind them in order to maintain the relative peace they had.

"I've seen better," Yuki commented. Shuichi rolled his eyes as Tohma gave an exasperated sigh. Shuichi smiled at them both and grabbed some of Yuki's luggage. Tohma was going to protest but Shuichi had already placed them in the room. Shuichi then bent over to help unpack the items in the bags. Yuki's eyes stayed glued on Shuichi watching him intently.

"Eiri-san, do you need anything else?" Tohma spoke suddenly giving Yuki a small glare of his own. Yuki's head snapped up and he peered over to Tohma.

"Yeah," He spoke casually. "For you to leave, bastard. I still have to get some of my clothing and my laptop." Tohma looked down for a moment and smiled softly. He suddenly felt like a hypocrite. He had become sadden by the fact that Shuichi loved another besides him and had forgotten his own feelings.

"I'll get them for you, Eiri-san." Tohma spoke softly alerting Shuichi to his distress. Tohma wanted to get Yuki's things. No, he needed to get Yuki's things. Shuichi watched Tohma walk down the stairs mournfully. At the moment he wasn't thinking of the consequences of leaving Shuichi alone with Yuki. At the moment Shuichi didn't see Yuki in the doorway at all. For that one instance Yuki was worried about Tohma. In the end it was Tohma that helped him those years ago. In the end it was Tohma that was in pain.

"It's best if we don't follow him and just get your things unpacked." Shuichi spoke quietly. Yuki looked at Shuichi in shock. He wasn't sure why Shuichi was so calm about this.

"I wasn't going to follow him." Yuki muttered. He had almost forgotten about their situation. That was until Shuichi spoke. Now his anger towards Tohma had come back full throttle.

"Don't be like that, Yuki, you started it." Shuichi told his ex lover. "After all when he goes to get your stuff he'll see her." Yuki dropped his cigarette.

_  
"Why would Mika be here?" Yuki asked trying not to notice Tohma's reaction to her name. He wasn't sure if it was hatred or sorrow. _ (1)_  
_

At the time he didn't but now he knew what that emotion was. Complete sorrow.

&&&&

"So that's what you need to get clothes and stuff?" Mika asked her ex husband. Tohma looked to the floor trying not to make eye contact with her. It was like a dream him standing in front of her like that. After their divorce they had been completely secular from each other. Mika had dumped the good for nothing man on the side and would usually live in her apartment with anger and depression welling in her. Tohma found someone who could mend his broken heart while he in turn mended his. (A/n does that make sense?) In the end no matter how much you mend a broken heart there were always scars. Mika sighed unhappily and went back inside. Tohma looked up at the now closed door and groaned. Not this again. The door immediately opened and Mika dropped a pile of clothing on the floor. Then she handed Tohma the laptop swiftly in his hands.

"Mika-san, I-"

"Just go Seguchi-san." Mika said dropping all familiarity. "Go back to your lover and my brother. Hey, looks like you've gotten everything you wanted jerk!" She slammed the door shut and Tohma placed his hand upon it. It was true Mika had betrayed his trust. It was true he was just as cold to her at that time as she mentioned. She was cold too though. She had no right to be angry with him. Tohma clutched his fists. She had no reason what so ever. She was the one who treated him wrongly. He never cheated on her when they were together.

_"Cheating isn't always physical, Tohma._"(2)

"You said that didn't you." Tohma whispered to the door. "I guess you were right. What am I doing? Why am I living like this? Am I going to lose everything, Mika-san?" Hearing no answer, Tohma decided to leave.

Mika sighed with her back against the wall. For days she had gone trying her best to hate Tohma. She tried her best to ruin him so she could just ruin the image she had of him in her head. She never knew why she couldn't throw him out of her mind. He was no longer hers. Hell, he was never hers. If she kept trying to hold onto something that wasn't there, where would it bring her? She had caused him so much pain. Was it truly just his fault? She shook her head. She didn't want to feel sorry for Tohma. She hated him. Well she wanted to hate him. The door swung open immediately.

"I know you think you know a lot about my brother. You do but…Eiri hates dogs." She pointed out. "He may not look it or admit it but he has always been a cat person. Buy Shindou a puppy. It will grate Eiri's nerves." Tohma stared at Mika for the longest time. Was this the woman who declared war on him in the court room? Was this the woman who had to have a restraining order put so she wouldn't publicly scorn Shuichi?

"Why the sudden change of heart?" Tohma asked unsure. Mika smiled softly tears threatening to flow.

"You may not love me, Tohma. You may have lost our relationship a long time ago." She spoke softly. "But that doesn't mean you have to lose what you have now." Tohma had now gained a new respect for Mika. Mika, however, was in the middle of hating herself.

"I never said I didn't love you, I told you that once." Tohma spoke. (3)

"Yes the circumstances were different besides." Mika looked back at the door sadly. "That was two years ago and you're with Shindou Shuichi, love of your life."

"My feelings don't change at random." Tohma informed her and grabbed the clothing with his free arm. Mika stood silently in the doorway until long after his car had left. She didn't look back and she didn't move forward. Her cheeks were stained with tears as she stood frozen. 'What did he mean by that?'

&&&&

"For me!" Shuichi squealed like a school girl. Yuki went down stairs quickly to see what was up. After Tohma left Yuki and Shuichi finished unpacking his things. Yuki wanted to talk to Shuichi but Shuichi didn't feel like it. This left Yuki a little distraught. So Yuki decided to change the subject to where Shuichi was going to sleep. Shuichi opted for the couch. He didn't want to stay with either one of them in fear the other would get jealous. Yuki understood that and went to touch Shuichi's shoulder. Almost immediately Shuichi recoiled. Yuki, finding this unsettling yelled at Shuichi to leave him alone. Truth be told Yuki was hurt. Shuichi then left to go down stairs. Silence filled the house. They have been like that for the last hour until Tohma came home. Until Tohma came home with a puppy, that is.

"Oh no," Yuki muttered. "You bought him a stupid puppy!"

"This is the best present I ever gotten!" Shuichi exclaimed and hugged Tohma tightly. Tohma had a smile of victory. Eyes narrowing, Yuki snatched Tohma from Shuichi's grasped and dragged him into the hallway.

"Don't you dare think you are winning, you bastard!" Yuki harshly whispered. It seemed the longer and longer the two were in each other's presence the more childish their fights had been.

"Oh, Eiri-san." Tohma spoke with a slight giggle. "I don't think I am winning." Yuki nodded and went to leave. "I know I am."

"Bastard."

* * *

I know the shortness kills all.

1) This was from the first chapter yes I brought back little details.

2) This is from Loving an Angel. I haven't got to that part as of yet but it is something that Mika says to defend herself.

3) Also from Loving the Angel. The dialouge kinda goes as so:

Mika: You stopped looking at me after the miscarriage. You stopped paying attention to me. You stopped loving me. You come home late and you never dare to talk to me. What can I do, Tohma? I can not go on with this knowing that I am not loved by my own husband.

Tohma: I never said I didn't love you.

&&&&&&

Next up: Tatsuha and Suguru gasps break up and somehow Tatsuha is now K's toy for target practice. What? K is jealous of Tatsuha? What the…. Oh yeah and Yuki fights for dominance in Shuichi's heart with …the dog? Suguru is missing? Poor Suguru! What the hell is going on?


	12. Chapter 11 we have reached 11 party!

Tatsuha: Eva! Eva!

Me: Don't use my real name you idiot.

Tatsuha: Why not?

Me: Because they are listening.

Tatsuha: Who are they? You are just getting paranoid….What the hell is with this chapter? Hey why do I get dumped? I'm dead sexy.

Me: Oh shut up….they are still listening.

Tatsuha:….Right….We are going to take a break from EirixShuichixTohma triangle thingy and go on with ME! Because I rock. (I shush him) What? Oh right….they are listening….

* * *

"So how do you think they are doing, Tatsuha?" Suguru asked his lover who was trying desperately to pretend to be asleep. He was failing. He had been trying to avoid speaking with Suguru about this matter. After all he, besides K and Hiro, was the only one who felt sorry for Yuki. Suguru, being Tohma's cousin, sided with the CEO immediately and voiced it to the other teen. Tatsuha then began walking on egg shells around his smaller lover. After all if he told Suguru what he really thought they would end up in an argument. The one thing that was so perfect about Suguru and Tatsuha's relationship was that they never got into an argument well not since the day they officially started seeing one another. "Tatsuha, I know you are awake. I want to know what you honestly think of the situation" This could not end well.

"What situation, my love." Turning to look at his boyfriend, Tatsuha decided to play the sweet card. Whenever there was danger he could always count on the sweet card to save the day. Suguru's eyes narrowed.

"Don't play the sweet card with me. " Damn Suguru knew him too well. "That just means you have something to say that you think will get me mad." Tatsuha rolled his eyes. He always heard that being honest got you places. "Now tell me what you think." Tatsuha tried to protest many times before he gave up and began to talk.

"What can I say?" Tatsuha asked his lover. "Your cousin is an asshole. I mean come on. To lie to someone you are married too, her brothers (plural cuz he lied to me too) and seduce one of your brother-in-laws' lover who was weak from feeling useless to Eiri. I mean, if he told Eiri that Shuichi was sick he would have came. He would have. Eiri loves Shuichi. Always has; always will. So Shuichi cried all the time with him. We all cry at times. Shuichi sometimes felt bad but he sometimes does with Tohma too.(Not as much but still) What remains after the hard times is really what matters. Love. We hear that all the time. Cliché garble but it's true. Real relationships have their problems. You're cousin. Complete asshole. My brother trusted him, loved him like a brother and this is what he got in return. My brother confided in Tohma things he never said to me. That's what I think."

"So our relationship isn't real because we don't have problems?" Suguru spoke after some silence. "And my cousins an asshole. I see."

"I didn't mean it like that. Our relationship is nice." Tatsuha spoke back trying to mend the cracks that he had now created. Suguru nodded angrily.

"But not exciting or great like Shindou-san and Yuki-san's or maybe even Tohma-san and Shindou-san's." He retorted feeling pretty upset.

"That's not what I meant." Tatsuha gave a big groan. "Damn it you are acting like a girl, Suguru!" Suguru turned to look away from his lover.

"What don't you like about our relationship, Tatsuha-san?" It was there, the clear –san at the end of his name. Tatsuha's eyes peered down to the floor.

"No, I can't tell you." He muttered. Suguru frowned angrily.

"Tell me, Tatsuha." Suguru demanded. "I want to know." If there was one thing that Tatsuha couldn't take was when Suguru gave him the look. It wasn't a cute puppy dog look it was a "I will break up with you if you don't tell me" look.

"Well we are keeping it a secret." Tatsuha mentioned. "If you really love me why are you ashamed of me?" A knife had been stabbed in Suguru's heart. The holder of this knife was the love of his life, Tatsuha.

"That's because I don't want you to be followed around by cameras all the time." Suguru reasoned. "I'm looking out for you because I love you." It was very logical in his perspective.

"I can handle myself" Tatsuha mentioned venomously. "I am not a little baby that you need to change my diapers for, you ass." Suguru's eyes widened. Tatsuha had never called him something like that before. Tatsuha at that moment was trying desperately to take back those words. "Suguru please." He begged. "I didn't mean-"

"You're right. You can handle yourself. You don't need me, you never did." Was all Suguru could respond before he leapt from the bed to leave.

&&&&&&

Hiro woke up hearing a repetition of loud knocks. Shuichi better not be coming back to his apartment whining about how he can't choose. Grumbling as he stood up, Hiro stretched his arms to the sky. The knocking sounded kind of desperate. They could wait a while for him to get there. Hiro didn't bother putting on pants as he walked to the front door in boxers and a t-shirt. Opening the door he saw the very pissed off face of one Uesugi Tatsuha.

"Can I speak with your boyfriend?" He asked with malice in his voice. Hiro looked around himself confused. It was nine in the morning wasn't it? Shouldn't Tatsuha be in school or something? Still here the teen was demanding to talk to his lover! What could K and Tatsuha ever talk about?

"He's not here at the moment. He went to take Michael to school and get some stuff from the grocery store." Tatsuha looked as if he was letting the guitarist's words sink in. He peered at the floor and nodded.

"You live with him so you should know." The teen muttered angrily. Pushing himself into the apartment, Tatsuha grabbed Hiro and threw him against the wall. Hiro, who was now pinned between the wall and Tatsuha, looked up confused. "Where is he?" Tatsuha demanded to know. Hiro shook his head.

"Who?" Hiro questioned as he started to struggle. Tatsuha began to battle Hiro's flailing arms. Throwing the guitarist onto the floor, Tatsuha jumped on top of him.

"Don't play dumb with me." Tatsuha warned the guitarist. "Where is Suguru? He's not at his home and Tohma says he has no idea where he is." Hiro's mind was reeling. Why were all these things bombarding him? "He broke up with me! We had an argument and he broke up with me." And why was he always the one people looked for to get their relationships fixed. He wasn't a psychiatrist, how the hell did he know what to do? Wait did Tatsuha say Suguru?

"You were going out with Suguru?" Hiro exclaimed. "I knew he was acting funny." Tatsuha growled.

"Stop avoiding the question!" He yelled and slammed Hiro's head back to the floor. Hiro had enough and fought against Tatsuha to get from beneath him.

"Look, I don't know!" Hiro finally yelled as he came to be on top of Tatsuha. He held down Tatsuha's arms and stared him down. "Don't drag me down with you guys. If he ran off from you this is between you and him. So why don't you go look for h-"Time stopped the instant Hiro heard groceries hit the floor. Looking to his side, he spotted a very shocked K. Hiro's grip loosen from Tatsuha's wrists and he uttered a choking sound. K was taking the scene rather well judging that he hadn't shot anyone. Instead he just stood there immobile with the same mortified shock expression.

"K, um, it really isn't what it looks like." Tatsuha began but K soon cut him off.

"Oh. Then what is it?" K responded coldly. His heart had felt betrayal once but never did it feel like it was stealing his life away. He only stared at them with cold eyes. "Tell me what is going on. But don't you dare tell me that Hiro was-"K couldn't get the words out as a single tear ran down his cheek. He wiped it away and stared at the two with a glare that would make Yuki Eiri proud. He then turned away and his shoulders began to shake. Hiro thought he was about to cry.

"K." Hiro whispered sadly. He wanted to explain everything to the crazy American and was about to when he heard laughing. K wasn't crying, he was laughing. He could see K reaching his hand for something. His eyes widened in fear. "Tatsuha, I hope you can run fast."

&&&&&

Tatsuha burst into Tohma's home. Oddly enough the door was open. K couldn't have followed him here. He had to go to work soon. He would just hide in here till the whole thing blew over. Going up stairs to find his brother, Tatsuha began to hear the most disturbing conversation of his life.

"Please Eiri-san I don't want to."

"I can't believe you are complaining, Seguchi You wanted to do the damn thing!"

"No, what if Shuichi-san comes home."

"Um…He could do what you're doing."

"I wouldn't wish this on my worse enemy."

"I'm the one plunging in there so shut up and just deal with it like the bitch you are."

"Why do you have to say it like that!"

"You wanted me to help you remember."

"Yes, but why do you have to … ugh…You're heavy."

"Shut up I got it!"

"Aw, you are so cute, my little muffin. Don't worry mommy is here to make it all better."

"I hate it when you do that, Seguchi."

"What? Are you afraid of a little affection?"

"That's not a little."

Tatsuha shook his head violently to get out the horrible thoughts in his head. He raced up to see Tohma holding a puppy happily in his arms and Yuki glaring at it murderously. He didn't know if he should continue to be disturbed or laugh.

"What?" They said in unison. Tatsuha started to feel like he was in the twilight zone. 'I thought they were fighting over Shuichi?' Tatsuha thought. 'Why are they so buddy buddy?'

"Tatsuha," Tohma started. "You are going to have to explain to us what has happened or we can not help you." Yuki nodded in agreement. Peering down at his watch, Tohma jumped. "Actually you are going to have to explain it to Eiri-san. I have to go to work. Here hold my baby." 'His WHAT?' Thought Tatsuha. 'WHAT!' Tohma placed the puppy in Yuki's arms and ran to get his coat. Yuki held the puppy close and followed Tohma with his eyes.

"Dinner is at seven." Yuki told him. Tatsuha pinched himself. Nope, it wasn't a dream.

"I'll be a little late." Tohma commented. Tatsuha looked around himself. Where is the hidden camera? Where is Ashton?

"I hate it when you are late, Shuichi whines about it." Yuki commented. "Just try to get here as soon as you can. I'll just put your plate in the microwave." Actually, Tatsuha always figured if Tohma and Yuki were going to be in a relationship that Tohma would be the wife. Tohma emerged from his room ready to go. He went to the puppy and kissed its nose. 'Puppy I don't think we are in Tokyo anymore.' Tatsuha thought.

"You don't bother your father too much." Tohma said. 'He needs to work on his book. Mommy will be home shortly." Tohma then left. Yuki patted the dog's head and placed him on the floor. Standing there silent, all Tatsuha could do was watch. As Tohma left millions of WTFs were going around the young adult's head. Yuki looked over at his little brother and glared.

"What?"

&&&&&&&&&&&&

It was just another day at NG. Tohma got to work and waved to his secretary. He entered his office and placed his hat on the small table near the door. Went to hit the light switch like he had done many times before but something was off. There was a weird sniffling noise in his office. Flipping on the switch his eyes caught on something shocking.

"Suguru-san?"

* * *

Ladies and Gentlemen: Awkward was banned! I know, I know. You are either saddened by this news or you have no idea what I am talking about. Seems that my story was considered a "Chat/script based format". So my loves…It is at a new location. You can find it there. My profile has all the answers for you. I am sorry this happened and I had been suspended. However, as it always does, I have a new burst of creativity. So if you like you may read my other stories that go with the guidelines as far as my understanding of the guidelines go. So I hope you like them. (P.S This notice is going on all my gravitation works) 


	13. Chapter 12

Dear reader,

It's been three years. I gave up on fan fiction for a while. I have long since lost time for anime. Although anime "geeks" (they call themselves that) are amazed by my in depth knowledge of everything prior to 2007. My friends now don't even guess I like anime at all. I am more of a manga reader now. Silently lurking and reading.

I abandoned this story. I had long since abandoned it. I got back into fan fiction writing after forcing someone to watch the entire slayers series (it took days). I thought he would just run off (I was trying to scare him off) but now he just makes references to Xellos. My plan wasn't so well thought out. I should have made him see the whole gravitation series but he said he didn't mind shonen ai. Curses. I got a fan fiction idea after all these years and went to writing it. I then looked at this fic and sighed. I feel bad for all you reviewers. This one was pretty popular. Recently I got a pm from a person and she politely and quietly asked me to continue. It pulled at my heart strings, man. It pulled. I know how it ends and it is unfair not to show you that. I was very negligent on the eleventh chapter, I know. It was then that I realized I didn't know what to do anymore. However, after time of reflection, I have decided to go on. With haste and with caring. Let's continue our journey to the end of this story. Also loving an Angel and others like that will also be updated. Give me a shout out for ones you personally like best.

Best wishes,

Eva.

Now, onto the story.

* * *

She took another long drag of her cigarette. It had been thirty minutes and he had yet to show up. He was the one that phoned her. He was the one that needed to talk but he was also the one not there. She smiled amused. She deserved it. In pain, she sought the arms of another because her husband dared not look at her. He would recoil to her touch. In agony, she chose to leave his cold company. Though she ended it. She ended it after only one night. How could she do that? How could she even spend one night with that man even if she was never going to do it again. He threatened her. She was frightened. Divorce. No child to fight over. A tear went down her cheek as she recalled. No child to fight over.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, Mika-san." The man spoke as he sat next to her. His eyes trailed to her cheek where the lone tear had made it's journey. As if her emotional pain had hit him as well, he held such a sadness in his eyes. Mika looked away silently telling him not to worry. But he did worry. Why did he have to care about her still? Lifting one hand he brushed away the tear with his thumb. "What's wrong? If you have any problem with-"

"I'm happy that you are happy." She lied. She was in pain. But she deserved it and Tohma deserved to be happy. "I see you have a friend." Peering over, she looked at Suguru who shuffled in like a child who had broken a neighbor's window. His eyes were downcast to the floor and his shoulders fell limply against his body. "What's wrong, kid?" She asked harmlessly.

"I broke up with your brother." He admitted. Mika shrugged.

"It happens." Suguru looked up shocked. He expected her to grow angry with him but there was nothing. Tohma sighed. Mika was the daughter of a Buddhist monk. Lately she had truly been acting like one. She stopped trying to get his assets and even told him the truth about her being angry. She was angry that he chose Shuichi. He knew. He knew the moment he first told her. At that time, he wanted her to suffer so much. He had no idea that she already was.

"_I'm sorry." Mika spoke covering her eyes with her forearm. How could she face him? Tears dripped down the sides of her cheeks. Tohma wanted to hold her, hug her, tell her it was ok. He loved her. He loved her! Why would he marry her if he didn't? When he went to touch her, she shook her head. "Leave me." She told him. Tohma sighed. "Just leave me." So, he did._

Suffering goes both ways. They both were suffering even now more so than before. Suguru softly plopped himself on the bar stool. Their silence was unnerving even for him. It was as if most of their words were spoken with none at all.

"People have fights, Suguru." Mika spoke finally. "If you two love each other, regardless of what happened, that's all that matters. If you love someone no matter the emotional pain, you can find happiness again with them. You will suffer more apart than together. Together is where you can find true happiness." Tohma looked over at her and smiled softly. As a reaction, Mika turned her gaze elsewhere.

"She's right." Tohma spoke eyes not leaving her. Suguru looked at the two. Their relationship ended in a divorce. That was more serious than the tiff he and Tatsuha had. Who were they to give advice?

However, at that moment, he realized they were right. This whole time he had been looking at who deserves who. Who should be with who because it was right. Not because of that was what they wanted. Tatsuha had been chasing Ryuichi for years. Loving him secretly and respecting him when meeting with him finally. He poured his heart and soul for Ryuichi. However, he was given no second thought. He deserved to get Ryuichi because he tried so hard but he didn't. He got Suguru. It wasn't wrong but instead it was the way the world works. You can't force someone to love you if they don't. You can't bend the universe to your will. You certainly can't stop love when it is obviously there.

"Enjoy." Suguru said as he left the two. He had some apologizing to do. Mika stared at the door where Suguru left. That was it? She had hoped the kid would have stayed longer. Had a drink or something. Not just leave her with Tohma. Tohma understood her feelings well and stood up to leave. Without any thought she grabbed onto his jacket. She wanted half the house. Half his estate. She downsized to at least his albums or even his pillow but he still fought her tooth and nail. She just wanted something. Something she could hold and let her sleep a little better at night. Something of his. She let it all go. She let the chance to hold onto something of his go. He had left her. He was gone. It was time to move on. However, her body was moving beyond her control. Her eyes looked up into his shocked one with fear. Fear of her lost control, fear of rejection, the fear she had been hiding for years with an angry mask.

"Don't leave." She barely whispered. Suddenly she let go of his jacket. She was a fool. He was with a man now. A man! What man runs off with another man and then goes back to women? No one. It was hopeless. Tohma found himself laughing at this. It wasn't because he was cruel. It was because he had nothing else to do. He couldn't contain his laughter.

"Leave you?" He asked between laughs. "Leave you?!" Mika looked away. Tears were resurfacing in her eyes. If she had looked at Tohma she would have noticed that he too had tears. "We are divorced, Mika! Divorced!" His mask melted away faster than hers as his bottom lip trembled. "But I can't. You're like a curse. Just seeing you… How can I leave someone, who I can't escape from? I can never push you away! You can only do that to ME!"

"Don't let me ruin it." Mika demanded softly. "Go back to Shuichi." There it was. She was pushing again. Should he just go with the force and leave again? No. After all this time she wanted nothing more from him than to push him from her again? Again? Always? Is this the way their lives were going to be? Forever? How proud she must be to push HIM away! After all this she acted like he was the one that did the crime. Him? HIM?! Tohma grabbed the nearest thing, which was a glass, and threw it hard against the wall. All of his built up frustration over these years. All of his pain, self-hatred and love, never ending love, crashed against the wall. The broken shards laid on the floor lifeless. The bartender looked up from his shielded position in fear. No one had ever seen Tohma like this. Mika's body was shaking but she dared not look at him. Tohma was shaking as well. Everything broken. But Mika remained unharmed by the glass. His wife. His ex-wife. All she had to say back then was:

"_Stay." Shuichi needed someone to comfort him. He was sad and lonely. It was selfish for him to throw his loneliness on Tohma but there was no one else. Tohma sighed. At home, his wife told him to leave her. Here a boy was asking him to stay with him. He smiled bitterly. Ah, the irony of life. He loved Mika and he disliked Shuichi. However, he found himself hating Mika and liking Shuichi at this moment. He felt like he needed to stay for Shuichi more than Shuichi needed him to. _

"I'll pay for that." Was all Tohma said as he left. Mika put a hand on her heart. Never again. Don't go to him. Don't talk to him. Never. Never again.

Yuki didn't frequent the studio. It wasn't his thing. He wasn't angry at Tohma. He didn't want to see Shuichi. He could careless about Suguru. He was there to see Tohma, however. His sister told him to. Also, he had to get away from that puppy who thought he was the best guy in the world. Seriously, that puppy was insane. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want any part of this. He just wanted to finish his new story that he was working on. However, his sister threw rocks at the window, call incessantly and even snuck in the house. Tohma should have taken her key. This woman stopped at nothing to make Yuki do this.

"Eiri-san, I am busy." Tohma told him while looking through some papers. Yuki said nothing. He walked over and hugged Tohma. Tohma's eyes widened. He didn't understand. Also, Yuki didn't have to look so angry while hugging him. It would have been better if there was a softness to his eyes or something. "What?"

"Mika sends her regards." He spoke softly. "She also says try…" It looked as if the words were hard for him to say. What was so hard? Tohma smiled. They really are brother and sister. "Try hard to win your love and be happy. Now, I'm leaving." It was tough being Yuki Eiri. Tohma sighed and lifted himself from his chair. Quickly he grabbed his coat and his hat. These actions stopped Yuki in his tracks. What was the man going to do? Was he going to go get Shuichi? It was true that Yuki told him what his sister wanted him to. She had harassed him until he couldn't say no. She had a strange way of doing that. However, he had hoped the anger he had shone on his face would be translated by Tohma as "Don't believe me" or something to that extent.

"Where are you going?" Yuki demanded more than asked. Tohma looked up at Eiri with a strange expression. It was different than his usual smiles. This one had a child like spark. Something that he had once thought only Shuichi held. Well, Ryuichi held the same spark but Yuki didn't care about him. Where was he anyway?

"I'm going to the amusement park...By myself most likely." He told him in all honesty. Yuki stood dumbfounded. What did that have to do with anything? How was that going to solve anything. "I'm going to be happy. Oh and Eiri-san." Yuki looked over confused still. "Take care of my office for a while. And take Shuichi home and don't wait up for me."

"This is it?" Yuki asked. That's all Tohma was going to do? Fight for your love! Do something! Show that you care about this just a little. Tohma was always good with masks. It was impossible to see what he meant behind a smile. Was it pain? Was it happiness? Why leave Yuki alone with Shuichi? Yuki sighed as he found himself sitting in Tohma's chair. How did he get there? Tohma lifted his hands from his shoulders and brushed them through Yuki's hair.

"It is." With that he left a very confused Yuki behind. An amusement park. Shuichi would have loved that. He could have taken Shuichi. Of course, Yuki wouldn't have liked it but at least it would be less weird. In the end, Yuki occupied himself with sorting out the papers and looking off to the distance bored.

He got a text on his cell phone from his brother. He was leaving again. That was good. He didn't need him freeloading forever. Seemed that Suguru and him patched things up quickly. He wished he could be like that. It was obvious the two loved each other and they should stay together. Together far from the house. Yuki sighed. Tohma deserved Shuichi, didn't he? After all the pain he went through. Shuichi deserved to be loved like that, after all the pain he put him through. Yes, he loved Shuichi. Yes, he loved him back. But he was bad for him. Tohma was good for him. Mika. Mika deserved love as well even though she cheated she deserved not to be shunned but to be loved. She was moving out. Yuki was grateful. After all of this, he knew he would return to his apartment. He knew that he might probably be alone when he entered it again. Mika was going somewhere. She didn't tell him where. She just didn't want to be there anymore. How dare she root for Tohma to get Shuichi and not him? She was his sister! Did that mean nothing to her? She still loved Tohma, didn't she? Foolish. They were all so foolish. To love people who won't return their love. Mika to Tohma and him to Shuichi. Foolishness must run in the family.

It didn't take long before Shuichi burst opened the door and noticed he had entered the twilight zone. Why was Yuki in Tohma's chair or maybe it was his subconscious trying to tell him something! He didn't get a D in Psychology for nothing. Yuki looked at him bemused. Why was he looking at him like that? It didn't matter, nothing mattered anymore. His best friend was no longer his friend and his lover was no longer his lover. A mistake that caused everything to go out of sync. However, was there any redemption for this sin? Could an angel kiss him once again or was he truly losing that angel. Angels were forgiving creatures. However, love was a cruel dance. In this dance partners come and go, some stay longer than others but eventually they switch off. Yuki wasn't much of a dancer but he wanted to try this dance of love. He was clumsy and didn't know where to place his feet. Shuichi danced with such a high pace and switched partners leaving Yuki to stand in the middle of the dance floor confused and alone. It was his fault for stepping on Shuichi's feet but it was all part of the learning process. Learning how to love. It wasn't like Yuki knew how to approach situations. People got angry with him because he was too cruel or stupid when it came to other's feelings. How could he know? It wasn't like he had a lot of friends that taught him to be thoughtful. Even Tohma hid under a mask and secretly planned things. Not much of a place to learn compassion. Could he show Shuichi compassion? Could he prove to Shuichi he could change or was it too late?

"Hi this is Mika, I'm not answering the phone right now so please leave me a message and I'll get back to you." He waited for the sound of the beep. Even after it shortly rang, he was without words. This was the fifth time calling her. The fifth time she did not answer and perhaps the fifth time he would leave no message. Closing the phone, he laid his head back on the temporary wall. A person tending the booth looked over to him concerned. She was young, probably in her teens and had long brown hair. In a way, she reminded him of Ayaka. What was happening with her nowadays? Maybe he should try phoning her.

"Sir, is there something wrong?" She asked in a sweet tone. Ah, the innocence of youth. They know nothing of the pains of a broken heart. They could cry and say they understood it all but inside is not emptiness. Inside is not shattered pieces that could not be whole again. In a young heart laid a small cut that easily healed. In the future, there would be another love. He thought towards the future. He had enough money to find another but not love. At his age, who was there to love. Shuichi? Shuichi was sweet to him. Shuichi was amazing. Shuichi was Shuichi. A great child. Child? He had no child. Tohma dropped his phone and looked down. He understood. Everything. All these events. None of this would have happened if:

_Mika laid in bed in a fetal position. The hospital room smelt of a mixture of cleaning supplies. It was completely distasteful and he distantly wanted her to be put in a different room. She was sobbing. It was evident by not only the sound but her shoulders shaking. It had been a boy. A boy. The doctor searched for the heart beat but found none. He was dead. They called it a late miscarriage. They induced labor for her to birth the dead. It was unfair. Tohma lifted his hand to touch her but found himself holding himself back. This would become the last time he ever tried to touch her. Instead, he opted to lock himself in his office to work. Work until he became sick. Work until he became tired. Anything to keep him from going home and seeing her look so depressed. He wanted to see Mika smiling. He wanted her to smile just one more time. She never will. It was then he realized that he couldn't save her. He didn't want to feel so helpless in her presence. So, he stayed away._

He began to laugh. Oh, how disgustingly bitter the irony of this life tasted. His life was a joke. Everything about it was nothing more than a mistake after another. The only mistake he never made was saying _"I love you". _But the huge mistake he made was not saying it ever again.

"Sir?" The worker was now very concerned. First the man looked depressed and now he was laughing like a lunatic. His cell phone laid abused on the floor. A light flashed as an incoming call was coming in. Shuichi. Shuichi was calling him now at all times. Now that true enlightenment had hit him. His child. His wife. His dead child. His ex-wife. His enemy. His friend. His lover. His enemy. How did everything become a twisted mockery of the other? Why was he to live like this forever? He knew why. He knew exactly why. Because he was hurting and was afraid to be alone. He threw his undying love to another for no reason. His love he would have given his child and his wife had to go somewhere. He felt bad for Shuichi. However, Shuichi did the same. His love for Yuki had to go somewhere. They used each other as crutches. But using crutches while still walking on the broken foot does nothing. Hoping on the broken foot makes it worse. Tohma and Shuichi had no use for crutches anymore. It was time they were healed correctly.

"Some say one man's selfishness is another man's suffering." Tohma spoke to the lady. "But I know what a certain monk would say. Your own selfishness makes you suffer. I couldn't agree more."

* * *

I thought I would delve deeper into Mika and Tohma's divorce. A lot of you were very …uh… upset with Mika. Mika is not to blame. She just lost a child, her husband wouldn't even look at her and she was alone and depressed(this was all stated previously in different chapters years ago but still people were insensitive to her). She cheated ONCE. Then she tried to break it off but he threatened her. Tohma loved her. He was willing to work it out but she pushed him away ASHAMED OF HERSELF. Then she threw anger at Shuichi and then at Tohma. She wanted assets because she wanted him to still be tied to her somehow. However, now. She gave up. As she gives up, so does Yuki and even Tohma is giving up. So, we are at a stand still. She's running off. Tohma has mixed feelings (STATED BEFORE IN A CHAPTER THAT HIS FEELINGS DON'T CHANGE AT RANDOM) I hope that clears stuff up. Btw, I'm baaaacccckkkkk.


	14. Chapter thirteen

Author note: New chapter. Yes, that quick. This one took a while, though. I had to read up on some gravitation mangas and stuff to get the feel back. I neglected my studies a bit though.

* * *

Shuichi sat next to Yuki silently. He wasn't sure what to say to him. All this time they had been living together, it was like a dream. Tohma was so kind and Yuki was so…Yuki. Shuichi smiled. Yuki never had to be anything but himself. He loved him for that. Even now after everything that had happened, Shuichi couldn't find himself hating him. He was slightly amused that Tohma's absence made Yuki resemble a lost child.

"Yuki." Shuichi spoke first. Yuki looked up from the glass he was drinking from. They were in a bar. The same bar Mika always frequent. The bar that Tohma owned. The divorce left him with everything. Mika didn't stand a chance. He even got her dresses though Yuki couldn't see why he needed them. It was then an image he didn't expect hit him hard.

"Eiri-san 3" Tohma said in Yuki's mind as he posed in a sexy dress.

"NO!" yelled Yuki startling everyone including Shuichi. That was not an image he wanted to see. It was a good thing his outburst erased it from his mind. Looking down at the glass he decided it was best to down the whole thing. He was not going to see that image again. Maybe he needed an exorcist. Tatsuha is probably making up with his boyfriend. He will call him tomorrow then.

"What's wrong? ARE YOU HURT!?" He yelled. Yuki wanted to tell him that he wasn't physically hurt but mentally, he was destroyed. Instead he opted to kick Shuichi out of the chair. It was just a reflex. He had been keeping them back for a long time. He froze. How could he hit Shuichi at a time where he was trying to prove to him that he was better?

"Thank goodness." Shuichi spoke again with a smile. "I missed the old Yuki." They remained silent. It was then Yuki smiled back at him leaving Shuichi to prolong the silence.

"You know something, Yuki?" Shuichi started to talk again. "It feels good to have you next to me again."

"It feels good that you allow me to be." Yuki immediately said back causing Shuichi to blush. "No matter what we went through we always stayed together. Now it looks like this trail would be even harder but we can over come it, right?" Shuichi began to laugh. He hugged Yuki and shook his head.

"Stop being cute!" He told him. Yuki looked at him horrified and pushed him off.

"I am not doing anything near cute." He argued. Shuichi jumped up from the floor and continued his hug attack.

"Yes, you are!" He informed him. "Saying things like that, how can you not look cute!?" He snuggled with his ex-lover who was thoroughly embarrassed. There wasn't many people here so he should just let it slide. Then again, the bartender kept looking at him funny. Yuki glared at him until he looked away. He smiled. He still had that ability.

"Done yet?" He asked Shuichi. Shuichi only held on tighter. Yuki took that as a no. He didn't mind. He liked Shuichi holding him. It was way better than being rejected. Anything other than that was good in his book.

"This time you can't escape me." He said. "I don't want to let go." Yuki sighed. He wasn't going to repeat his mistakes ever again. Losing something as precious as Shuichi was not something he could ever afford. Never again will he do that.

"You're an idiot." He told the singer. The man in question did nothing but hold on.

"So, I am told." He then looked up and smiled wide. "But you still love me! Don't you? That's the only reason why you would fight for me. HAHA!" Immediately Shuichi found himself posing on the bar table. "You couldn't get your mind off me! That's right everyone Yuki Eiri is completely in love with me!!" The bartender looked around confused. What was he supposed to say to that? He opted to just clap for the boy. Shuichi started laughing as everyone in the room clapped for him. Yuki looked around annoyed. Were the people here all drunk or something? Was this really something that needed an applause? Japan was just going more down hill these days.

"You tell it like it is!" Yelled out a man from the back. That man better mind his own business, thought Yuki. They were only feeding the fire in Shuichi's heart. However, it was nice to see the fire again. It was for that reason that Yuki didn't stop them from congratulating and applauding Shuichi. Looking off, Yuki decided to get up. "Where are you going?"

"A man can't take a piss without telling you?" He asked angrily. Shuichi giggled in spite of himself. He had no idea how much he really missed that man. No idea, until now. Watching him leave, Shuichi hummed to himself. This was actually a pleasant night. He couldn't remember the last time he felt so happy. Sure, he felt happy with Tohma but this was different. This was with Yuki. Sighing he decided to take a look around the room. That's when he spotted her. She was drinking excessively. Pouring down the vile liquid into a small glass. She took one look at it and drank it completely. Turning to the bartender she asked for his best drink.

"Here you go, madam." He said sliding another poison to her. "This one makes you feel like you are waltzing at a ball." The woman smiled softly. She wanted to waltz again. Shuichi clenched his fists. He should ignore her but he couldn't. Not when she was doing this to herself.

"Seg- U- Mika-san." Shuichi spoke softly. "Are you ok?"

"Hey, Shindou-san." She spoke in a slow monotone. "I want to waltz in a ball room again. Want to waltz with me? I can teach you." Shuichi shook his head.

"I came with someone."

"Pity." She said taking a sip. "I could make you a good dancer." Just leave her there. That's what Shuichi wanted to tell himself to do but he couldn't. Helpless and alone. That was the true Mika. He could give her company. She would like that.

"How are you holding up?" It was a silly question but he had to break the silence.

"Good." She lied so easily. "You look cute today. Are you with Tohma? If you are…I should slip out somewhere."

"No, I'm with Yuki." Shuichi told her.

"You should be with Tohma." She began drinking more of the drink. Should be? Why was she pushing Tohma on him? Did she not want him to be with her brother again? Why was everyone always pushing him from Yuki? She was probably right. Tohma was a much better friend and lover than Yuki. He was caring and always doted on him. It was like he was his husband with a bit of a fatherly element. A husband…A father. He looked at Mika with pity. The leftover wife. "I should shouldn't I? It took me two years to stop thinking of Yuki and the moment I did he shows up." Shuichi told her. "Funny how the world works. You try to get yourself away from something and try being happy."

"But you're dead inside." Mika finished for him. "Maybe we should waltz together."

"Maybe we should." Shuichi agreed. Yuki came back finding the two chatting like old friends. He didn't feel confused but more angry than anything. She was probably telling him that Tohma was a better canidate. Not only that, but any hurtful words from her could bring Shuichi to tears. He couldn't have that. Shuichi was to never cry again.

"Older sister, why didn't you go back to our father like you promised?" Yuki asked her with a dark glare. Mika paid him no attention. She was waltzing in her mind. "Sister!"

"He wants me to marry some guy. Arranged." Mika spoke causing Shuichi to gasp. "I won't. I'd rather be alone."

"Yuki!" Shuichi felt his emotions soar up to his chest. How could someone force two people together if there was not love? "You have to help her!"

"I have to help her?" Yuki was completely confused. "I thought you hated her or something."

"It's still not right!" Just then Mika's arms wrapped around Shuichi. She hid her face in the crook of his neck. Shuichi did not hug her back. He couldn't. He was paralyzed by shock. Suddenly he understood. He understood what he had to do. He had to help her fight back the arrange marriage and stop her from dancing. Dancing without a partner. Confused and alone. His hands wrapped around her and he gave her a small squeeze.

"It will be ok." She mumbled. "You have such a big heart, Shindou. You deserve to be happy." Shuichi sighed.

"So do you" he informed her. She smiled and let go of him. Her fingers found his cheeks and pulled on them.

"So cute!" She exclaimed while stretching them. Yuki grabbed her hands and put them down. "Jealousy doesn't become you." She told him matter-of-factly. Yuki cleared his throat as Shuichi giggled at this. He was jealous of his own sister touching Shuichi? That was enough to coax a laugh out of the object of his jealous heart. Mika joined in to. It was laugh at Yuki day at the bar. The writter swore that he was in a sitcom and the whole bar was that audience that responded to things. Now he had to spend his night with his sister and Shuichi chatting like school girls. Oh, how he hated his life.

What happened to the hatred they should be feeling for each other? Why did Shuichi go all noble and decided to befriend the enemy? Yuki would never do that. He watched as Shuichi slid the drink away from a protesting Mika. His sister. His older sister. She was acting more like a younger sister. What could she possibly be drinking for? She should just say she didn't want the marriage and be done with it. Then again she was a proper lady. She was also his father's daughter. Knowing his father, it would be hard to get a prospective fiancee of your back. He understood how that felt. Ayaka was relentless. He could help her. Then again he wasn't the type to help people out like Shuichi was. It was best just to leave it to Shuichi. Looking down he noticed the two had their palms together. What they were doing was beyond him. Maybe if he got drunk he could understand how Shuichi and drunken Mika thought. It was a plan! It was a mission. Yuki ordered more to drink. His plan was interrupted by a new visitor. The doors swung open as Tatsuha entered the bar. No one asked him to leave. How could they? Taking off his sunglasses, he only had his eyes set on Mika. He was on retrieval duty again. Walking slowly towards her, he noted that others were there as well. He sighed. It was best not to get them involved.

"Let's go, older sister." He spoke lending out his hand.

"I want to waltz in a ball room with Shuichi." Mika told him no longer using formalities with them. Shuichi put a hand through her hair. It was funny how she seemed so childlike right now. Tatsuha gave her no warning before he roughly grabbed her from the two. Yuki made no sound of protest. He couldn't say anything otherwise. This was how it was to be. It was time for her to forget her sorrow and start a new life. A new life with that man that father promised her to. It wasn't the right thing in some perspectives. However, it was the only way. She needed to forget Tohma.

Shuichi looked at Yuki for help. There was none there that could be given. Frustrated with the situation, Shuichi could only watch helplessly. He wished someone would come and help her. If no one came he was prepared to stop Tatsuha. Couldn't he see that marrying off his older sister was wrong regardless. He understood how he felt with Ayaka. Yuki understood how it felt so why couldn't he help her? Now with Mika unlike the deal with Ayaka. There was no one to feel jealous or cheated. Maybe that's why it was so easy for them to just accept this.

"Unhand her!" Came a yell from the door. There was no one to feel bad, right? Everyone looked and there Tohma stood angry as ever. In his hand was a blue bear. Shuichi distantly wondered what he was doing with a blue bear. Yuki didn't know whether to find the situation funny or dramatic. Here Tohma was after going to an amusement park with a blue bear in his hand, trying to be tough. This was Tohma. Yuki needed to take some time to understand this. Not to mention there was glitter all over Tohma.

"Tohma?" Tatsuha barely uttered as Tohma came closer to him. He didn't expect Tohma to be here at all. Was he looking for Shuichi?

"Go away, Tohma." Mika spat out. She held onto Tatsuha. "I'm ready to get married." Tatsuha looked at her in shock as did everyone else. To avoid Tohma, she was willing to do this? Shuichi shook his head.

"Married?" He didn't know. Tohma didn't know. His face at that time revealed everyone his feelings. Shuichi felt weak. He leaned on Yuki. He understood that expression. It was the same one he had when he thought he had lost Yuki forever. What did Tohma expect? He ran off with a boyfriend but wanted to selfishly keep his wife around? He expected her to always stay single? What was Shuichi to him? Yuki took the hint and wrapped an arm around Shuichi. This must be hard for him. It should have been. But Shuichi was more grown up than before. He loved Yuki. He loved Tohma. He found himself unable to hate. Mika was going to marry a man she didn't know and didn't love. Tohma was going to let her. He could see it in his eyes. He had given up. This wasn't right. Shuichi wasn't as smart as Hiro or Yuki or even Tatsuha but he could tell if something was wrong or right. If this is the way Tohma chose to walk, he understood. He understood because he walked down the same path. Looking at Yuki he smiled. He walked down the same path. He had to choose: Tohma or Yuki. But Tohma had to choose too. No one ever asked him but Tohma was already trying to decide who to choose: Mika or Shuichi.

"Tohma, please!" He looked at him pleading for him to help her. Tohma was good at doing what Shuichi told him to. It wasn't just that. He wanted to. Grabbing Mika's arm he pulled her to him but she struggled. She pulled her hand away and wrapped her arms around Tatsuha's waist.

"It's over. I give up." She said. "I want to waltz in the ballroom forever. This is what I deserve." The sound was loud enough to echo across the room. The force was great enough to throw her to the floor. Everyone gasped. This was not to be expected at all. Tatsuha's body filled with anger as did Yuki's. However, they suppressed it. They had to. This was not their battle. Tohma placed his sore hand back down. He bent down and grabbed her roughly by the collar.

"Let's go."

"Take Shuichi."

"No." It was the first time Mika ever heard him speak so venomously to her. It frightened her. Tohma was indeed a scary man. What would be her fate? Would she wind up in a hospital? Would she end up on the front page news? She didn't want to go with him. She would rather marry some man she hardly knew. She was going to marry some man she hardly knew. There was no other way around it. She was trapped. Couldn't Tohma and Shuichi see that it was too late?

"Let me go!" Mika yelled. She hated him. She hated Tohma. Why should he care what she does with her life? He should run off with Shuichi and be happy. No one is happy with her around. No one.

"Never!" Tohma yelled back causing everyone to freeze. "I'll be home late." With that he left dragging her behind him.

"What just happened?" Tatsuha asked.

"Life." Shuichi answered. He had a soft smile on his face. A smile of understanding but not of happiness. Yuki could tell, this was eating at him.

"Are you upset?" Yuki asked quietly. Shuichi shook his head.

"Tohma has to choose as well. I wait for his decision now." He smiled happily at Yuki. It wasn't easy for him to forget about the pain in his heart. Then again it wasn't easy for Tohma either. Were they really in love? Should they be in love? Of course people would say they should. But would that be unfair to Tohma. Yuki was once Shuichi's whole world. Tohma would have to understand that it is still hard to ignore the man.

"Want ice cream?" Yuki asked randomly. He could tell Shuichi was deep in thought and he wanted him to stop thinking so much about it. When they would get home, Tohma will be there again in a weird apron. He will make them food and baby talk the dog. Yuki will yell at him and he will just smile. Then at night he will give them kisses goodnight which will freak the hell out of Yuki and life would go on. Mika and Tohma were over. Niether of them were good for each other. They can only hurt each other. Yuki sighed. This was the first time he felt so protective of his sister.

"You bet I do!" Tatsuha answered Yuki's question without thought. Yuki groaned.

"Not you!" He yelled back. "I was asking Shuichi!"

"Take me too!" Tatsuha ran at him with open arms. Like a pro, Yuki lifted his leg and slammed his foot on his face.

"No!" He told him. Shuichi laughed. Everything was equalizing. Was that a bad thing or was that the way the world was? What was going to happen? He didn't know but he knew it was wasteful to live it in fear and sadness. It was best to stay in happiness.

Tohma returned that night looking drained. No one questioned what happened. They did note that he was a bit wet, although, they had no idea why. Even more creepy, he smelled like flowers. Shuichi was fast asleep when he came though. He didn't put the apron on but he did attempt to give a good night kiss to Yuki. It was not accepted well. Shuichi would have had a big laugh if he had seen it.

That night, Mika slept with a blue bear under her arm.


	15. Chapter fourteen

Author note: New chapter!!!! Took me a while. Lots of work and school but here it is.

ONWARDS!

* * *

No one chose to ask Tohma what had happened. No one chose to even bring the subject up. Even at breakfast Shuichi and Yuki ate their cereal in silence. Tohma had neglected to cook. He went to work early without even a word. Now all Yuki and Shuichi could do was stare at the empty space he once occupied. It was strange. Yuki had even gotten use to his cooking, flirting and strange personality. He was use to the jokes Tohma would say or the ridiculous way he would baby the dog. Now that he wasn't there, it felt like they were missing something. Tohma was their wake up call, their cook, their cleaner, their mother, their father and their friend. Was it love? Was it love to miss someone so much? Or was it that they had gotten use to him? Yuki knew what he felt was not love at all. He had gotten into a routine and you never know how good something was until it was gone. However, Shuichi didn't know. Did Shuichi love Tohma? Was Tohma and Shuichi's relationship built on trust and happiness or on lies? Shuichi was sad that he had lost Yuki and Tohma was willing to take care of him. Tohma was upset Mika couldn't be comforted by him so he chose Shuichi. Was it love to miss Tohma at this moment? Or was Shuichi like Yuki? Was he selfishly getting into a routine and only missing the service provided but not the person?

It wasn't really important why he felt a certain way. It was more important that he felt it. He felt lost. What was Tohma up to? What was he planning to do with Mika? Would Mika get married? Shuichi's thoughts trailed back to Mika. She looked so sad. It reminded him of the time he thought he lost Yuki. He had forgotten that his choices affected other people. But Mika didn't resent him like she had before. She encouraged his happiness even at the expense of her own. Was that love? Was Mika in love with Tohma? Could Shuichi think of only Tohma's happiness the way Mika did? Was Tohma happy?

Tohma never showed his private thoughts on his face. It was true that Tohma could very well show more emotion than that of Yuki. However, his true intentions always was well hidden behind a polite mask. What was Tohma's intentions? How far was he going to take this ride before he realizes that all rides must stop. Where was he to stop to? To whom? Shuichi swirled his spoon in his bowl for a while.

"Stop playing with your food." Yuki told him sternly. Shuichi glanced up at the writer in confusion. He thought the man wasn't paying attention to him. Smiling softly, he placed the spoon down. Yuki was the same as always. He made no attempt to be nicer and no attempt to change completely. Shuichi liked that about him. It was strange but the singer couldn't get himself to hate Yuki. He couldn't forget the writer. He still had feelings for him. But was that love? Was it just the memory of fondness they once had or was it love like Mika might share with Tohma?

"Yuki." Shuichi started. "Lets go on another date." Yuki didn't look up from his bowl. He didn't even make any movement that he even heard Shuichi but the singer knew Yuki heard him. Shuichi wasn't that bright but he knew he had to find answers. He had to know where his feelings lie. He shouldn't be selfish. His selfishness caused too many problems.

"Let's not." The writer told him. "I have a deadline to meet. Also, you have work."

"I have work?" At that moment the dinning room door flew to the other side of the room. K jumped in with Hiro attached to his back. Hiro struggled to pull K back but K had gotten to be an expert at avoiding being hindered by Hiro. He pointed his gun towards a very shocked Shuichi. Yuki sipped his coffee as if nothing was happening. K shot at Shuichi but given that Hiro pulled at him at the same time he ended up shooting the chandelier. As it fell towards the table, Yuki moved his food a bit and continued to eat undisturbed.

"K! We don't have money to pay for those damages!" Hiro yelled. K struggled to be free of Hiro's grasp.

"We have to hurry!" K yelled. "Suguru called a press conference." Everyone stopped and looked over at the American. They had a press conference today? No one told them that! K was their manager, shouldn't he have told them sooner. "Suguru is acting on his own and I'm his manager and I don't know why!" K then proceeded to shoot everything in the room. How could he let this happen? This might be the end of Bad Luck all together. What was Suguru up to? Shuichi threw himself onto the ground as bullets flew everywhere. Yuki merely dodged his bullets effortlessly as he continued to munch on his cereal.

"Calm down, K!" Hiro yelled. "Where is the conference being held?" K stopped and looked over at his lover.

Suguru made sure his clothing were straight and didn't have any imperfections. This conference had to go well. Everything was for his sake. He didn't care what troubles this would bring the band anymore. He had to do this so everything could be set right. Looking out from the curtain he notice quite a few reporters were out in the crowd. This was a lot more than he anticipated. However, there was no need to worry. All he had to do was just speak his heart. Sakano quickly made it to his side. His face held a large amount of worry on his face as usual.

"Fujisaki-san, you can't do this! Whatever it is please reconsider!" Suguru looked over at the stressed man. Smiling softly, he put his hand on the man's shoulder.

"Why are you here, Sakano san?" Suguru asked. "You should worry more about yourself than me."

"I am worried about myself!" Suguru had to contain a small chuckle. Sakano would never change.

"Well, in that case." He then turned back to look at the crowd of people beyond the curtain. "I will be going now."

"Wait, Suguru you can't!" All his cries were in vain. Suguru wouldn't listen to anyone. He stood tall at the podium, looking down at the starving media. They remained silent wondering what on earth could the keyboardist need to say. K and Hiro ran up next to Sakano with Shuichi under K's arm.

"Damnit!" Exclaimed K. "We're late!" With that he pulled out his gun and pointed it towards Sakano.

"No, K!" Hiro told him sternly. "Let's hear him out first." K never listens to anyone when he gets to shooting mode. However, there was a serious look in Hiro's eyes that made him calm down. Struggling Shuichi finally got K to drop him on the floor.

"I'm very happy you all came here today." Suguru started. "I wanted to announce something very important." Hiro gulped. If Suguru was to quit the band what would that make them? Suguru wanted to become even greater than Tohma. He wanted to achieve his goal with the band, right? Suguru was one to not wear his feelings on his sleeve. Could all the drama that have come up so soon be pushing him away from the band?

"I have worked with Bad Luck for a very long time." Sakano dropped to his knees. Here it comes. " I have watched us grow from just another name to stardom. Nakano Hiroshi always had a passion for guitar but his true talent can only be shown while playing with Shindou Shuichi. Shindou san is the true spirit of Bad Luck. Without him, we can not move forward." Hiro looked down. Where was Suguru going with this? With each word he spoke it sounded like he was going towards something big. Something that might shatter all their hard work. Didn't Suguru care anymore? What were Shuichi and he to do if Suguru left? Was there anything they could do to stop this? Could they have known that Suguru was dissatisfied? If they did then they would have tried to help him immediately. They certainly wouldn't have let him come to this point.

"Shindou san has something I don't have and I envy." Everyone stopped their incessant worries and thoughts and looked over at Suguru. This wasn't what they were expecting. Perhaps a farewell or a "I'm done" but certainly not admitting envy over Shuichi. What was it that Shuichi had that Suguru didn't have? Suguru was smart, talented and serious. He did his work efficiently and was a bit of an overachiever. Who would ask for anything better? If any one was lacking it was Shuichi not Suguru. However, Suguru stated Shuichi had something he didn't have.

"Conviction." Suguru finally stated causing the sea of reporters to whisper to one another. "Shindou san, is true to himself and his beliefs. Be that about love or any other subject. Remember he was the one who once stood in front of you all and declared his love to Yuki Eiri." This received small chuckles and giggles from the reporters. "I want to believe in love strongly. I want to be true to myself. I don't know what this might do to the band but I promised myself: no more hiding the truth."

The entire room was on edge. The reporters didn't know what the young man had to say but they were all in agreement that it was going to be one huge scoop. Hiro lightly grabbed K's arm to make sure he didn't reach for his gun belt. He had lived with K for so long that he knew exactly what to do in these situations. K looked over at Hiro with a look that said "You think you can stop ME?"

"I, Fujisaki Suguru, am in love with Usagi Tatsuha!" After saying those words Suguru sighed in relief. His shoulders loosen as if a huge burden had been taken off them. Immediately, the reporters began a sea of questions on Tatsuha and Suguru. How did they meet? Did this mean he was gay too? Suguru tried his best to answer the questions but they were all happening so fast.

"Oh my god." K spoke finally. "He announced his undying love in public…HOW ROMANTIC!" Hiro looked at him for a moment and then noticed his hands were no longer on K. K had pushed them off and was reaching for his guns. "I'm going to kill him!"

"K, NO!" Shuichi sat on the floor in a daze. What Suguru said, it was as if he needed it to be said. It was as if the world was trying to help him out. Be true to yourself? Could he do that? Did he believe in love as strongly as he did before? Or has all his convictions left him? Standing up suddenly a large smile graced his face.

"THAT'S IT!" Shuichi exclaimed happily. "HE'S EXACTLY RIGHT!" Hiro looked over at Shuichi confused. Right? What was right? Suguru said nothing that pertained to Shuichi's situation. Maybe Shuichi was going through something he hadn't told him or maybe Shuichi made a crazy connection. Hiro knew it had to be the latter.

"Don't go crazy too, Shuichi!" He struggled to say while still trying to hold K back. "I can't hold back the both of you- SHUICHI!!!" The singer didn't hesitate to run on stage immediately. Suguru looked over at the pink haired boy in surprise. The singer only put his hand on the younger boy's shoulder and smiled. Something was communicated in that silent moment as Suguru smiled back happily. This made the reporters go even more crazy.

"Shindou-san, what about the rumors that you and Yuki Eiri broke up?" Shuichi stared at them speechless. Should he tell the truth?

"Some say you live with him and Seguchi Tohma?" Who knew that? Was someone stalking him?

"Tatsuha's a boy, right? Have you met him, Shindou-san?" Of course he had. He even got felt up by him once. Did they not know he was Yuki Eiri's brother? That stalker is slacking.

"Do you approve?" Approve what?

"Does this mean all you guys are gay?" Suddenly Hiro appeared by Shuichi's side. He looked more than just a little annoyed. It was as if the question had insulted every aspect of him.

"Hey, I dated a woman." He said in his defense. Shuichi rolled his eyes. This was the man who at the moment was quite happily dating their MALE manager. K on the other hand watched in shock. Here everyone had confessed "Hey, I like a dude" and Hiro was the only band member not to confess. It was frustrating him to no end.

"So, Nakano-san, how does it feel to be women's last hope?" Maybe Hiro will say it now. Maybe it was enough setup for Hiro to confess his undying love to K.

"Flattered, I guess." Hiro said with a laugh. K saw red.

"I'M GOING TO KILL HIM TOO!" He shouted as Sakano tried his best to tackle the American. This was going to need all his strength and perhaps the strength of a few helpers. The worst part of it was that Hiro was smiling at the reporters as if nothing was going on. If only he knew the chaos he elicited backstage. K threw Sakano off of him effortlessly and a few people helping around the stage area noticed the fallen man. Immediately they tackled K hoping to bring the tall American down. "THIS ISN'T THE END, HIROSHI!"

Ring. Ring. If it was that soft of a sound Yuki wouldn't have mind. However, Tohma's home had to have the most annoying phones in all of Japan. RAAANNNG RAAANNNG! Yuki grabbed the phone in the attempt to throw it across the room. How dare this phone stop progress! The sounds on the other end, was almost like the phone pleading for his life. Finally Yuki set the phone to his ear.

"Finally, I thought you were just going to hang up again." Tatsuha's voice was filled with relief. Yuki's eyes fell on to the rest of the phone.

"I can still do that, if you want." Yuki informed him. Immediately Tatsuha pleaded him not to. Reluctantly, Yuki sat back in his chair and prompted his younger brother to speak about what he wanted.

"SUGURU ADMITED HIS LOVE TO ME!" Was the first words out of his brother's mouth. Yuki looked at the phone in shock. Where did that come from?

"Good for you." He replied. "Leave me alone."

"Wait, wait, wait, wait!" Tatsuha stopped him. "You have to come home, the ceremony is in three weeks." Yuki was caught off guard. What ceremony? He thought everything was settled. Why was there talk about a ceremony?

"Wait, Mika isn't getting married is she?" Yuki questioned. "I thought she rejected the man." Tatsuha sighed heavily. As Yuki waited his response the front door opened. He had to hurry off the phone. He could hear the dog barking happily at one of his master's return.

"It's time for her to forget Tohma and get on with her life." What his little brother said was true. Tohma was only hurting his sister. To love a person who won't ever love you back was nothing but painful. "A woman of her age can't go around unmarried. It's sad."

"I get it." Yuki told him. Why couldn't Tatsuha tell that he didn't want to talk to him any more? Delicate footsteps going up the stairs made Yuki almost sweat. He had to get his brother off the phone. Why couldn't his brother take a hint? He just kept asking him to go to the ceremony. It was grating at his last nerve. "ALRIGHT! I'll go but don't tell anyone else. I don't want this news spreading to-

"Eiri-san, I'm home." Tohma walked into Yuki's study with a small smile. He noticed the phone in the writer's hand and his curiosity immediately perked up. "Who are you talking to?"

"No one important." Yuki tried to sound as nonchalant as possible as he hung up on a confused Tatsuha. He couldn't have this man know about the conversation. He knew that if Tohma knew all rationality would be out the window. In the end, Tohma was selfish. Yuki knew this. He hated him for it. But then part of him felt sad for Tohma. Yuki shook his head. There was no reason to feel sorry for the man.

"Oh, ok." Tohma knew not to press the subject. Even though the way Yuki was handling the situation was suspicious, it was best not to ask. After all, the writer would only get angry with him and push him out the room. Tohma hated being pushed. "I'm going to make dinner soon. Can you send some to Mika afterwards? She hasn't had a proper meal recently."

"Tohma," The writer wasn't going to tell him about the call. He wasn't going to let him know that Mika would be out of his hair soon. He just wanted to make a point to him. "My sister is not your wife anymore and she never will be. Stop being so nice to her." Tohma's mouth faulted and he looked down. He knew Mika wasn't his wife anymore but should he just watch her ruin her life?

Yuki pushed himself passed his ex-brother in law, claiming he needed fresh air. Tohma stood silently in the middle of the study. He didn't even say anything back at Yuki. So, the writer left without any problem. It was better this way. He had to warn off Tohma before he got too attached. For a man who was fighting him for Shuichi's heart, his emotions were very messed up. How can you fight for someone's heart when you can't settle your own? Yuki lit a cigarette and took a long drag. He settled it for him. In three weeks, Mika would be someone else's wife and Tohma would be a piece of her life that she will never go back to. It was better this way. If only Yuki could really convince himself that that was true.

* * *

Sorry for a short chapter. But the more interesting stuff starts happening next chapter and I wanted you to be in suspense.


	16. Chapter 15

Author note: New chapter finally. If you must know, my dad had multiple heart attacks. It's ok. He's fine. He had to have a couple of surgeries. He is now recuperated enough to take care of himself.

ENOUGH OF THAT…ON TO THE STORY

* * *

The pink one was too girly. That was just what he needed. Something that looked really girly to make Yuki's father really dislike him. Shuichi's eyes narrowed at the mirror. His hair was pretty girly looking too. He grabbed the green one. It was hideous. The blue one…Ridiculous. Suddenly a black one was shoved into his face. It was soft, silky seemed just right except it was a little long. He wasn't that tall.

"Shuichi, just choose a tie so I can go back to sleep" Hiro complained. "That one is fine." The singer stared at himself in the mirror wondering if this one was the right one. Suddenly the door swung open. The style of dress made Shuichi have to hold in a giggle. He could never get use to Yuki being in such traditional attire.

"What are you doing here?" He questioned with a hint of annoyance. Shuichi looked at him confused. Wasn't it obvious? K was the only one who had any decent ties. Too bad he was too tall to have any decent ties for Shuichi. The novelist sighed heavily. "It's a traditional wedding."

"Good!" K yelled from the other room. Everyone's heads spun to the direction of the voice. "Get out of my house!" Shuichi looked at the door in shock. He forgot that the American was still in there. Hiro shot a dirty look at the door.

"You mean MY house!" He shouted back. "Its in MY name!" There was no response. Hiro took that as a signal that he won. Smiling satisfied, he didn't even notice Yuki pulling away Shuichi.

"But why is she getting married?" Shuichi asked while he tried to get dressed in the car. Yuki sighed heavily. He didn't really have an answer that he could believe.

"She wants to do this." He informed the singer. "If she didn't she would have ran away again." That logic was something the writer could be satisfied with. He was pretty sure the singer could also be satisfied with it. Shuichi looked down. He could have told himself that he had nothing to do with this. He could have just ignored the situation all together. However, that was never in his nature. He knew he had everything to do with it. All Mika wanted was her husband to at least look at her. However, he wouldn't even touch her. She found comfort in another person and Tohma still paid little attention to her. He even got someone else to deliver the divorce papers so there was little contact. Shuichi then became his lover. Tohma never even once looked at Mika. He never once told her how he felt and she never once told him why. Why did she cheat on him? This was their situation. This was something Shuichi wasn't a part of but he couldn't help but feel guilty. He couldn't help but feel that his illness at that time was used as an excuse, by Tohma, to stay away from Mika. He couldn't help but feel the relationship he and Tohma were in was nothing more than an excuse. Shuichi shook his head. There was no way. Tohma DID care for him. It couldn't just be an excuse. He put his hand on his chest. Was being with Tohma an excuse for him as well?

"What are you thinking?" Yuki's voice cut through his thoughts. "Its probably something stupid and filled with misunderstandings isn't it?" Shuichi shook his head. He had never thought this clearly in his life.

"Mika can't get married." Shuichi told him. "Not until she tells Tohma her feelings." Immediately, Shuichi felt the pain of being smacked on the back of the head. He placed one hand to rub the sore spot as Yuki placed his hand back on the wheel.

"Stupid." Yuki muttered. "If she told him her feelings then she might not get married. My sister…She still loves that idiot. If she doesn't get married she might try to get back with Tohma. Do you want that?"

"What if I do!" Shuichi exclaimed glaring at the novelist. Yuki immediately stopped the car causing the cars behind him to also slam on their brakes. A sea of honks followed as the two glared at each other. Yuki wasn't going to give up and neither was Shuichi.

"Everything that is happening." Shuichi began. "I feel like it is my fault." Yuki scoffed.

"If I didn't leave none of this would have happened." The novelist grumbled. "It's my fault this happened. It's my fault that you were lonely and my sister had to suffer. This is all I can do for her. She hasn't smiled once since I got back." His voice was filled with emotion in a way that Shuichi had never heard before. He took a moment to let was the writer said sink in. Yuki was still talking but at this point, Shuichi had blocked him out with his thoughts. He looked up at Yuki confused.

"I have never seen her smile before in my life unless it was laced with evil." Yuki gripped the steering wheel hard.

"Do you want me to hit you?"

"Not really"

"Then don't talk when I am giving an emotional speech!" There was a small knock on his side of the car. Looking over, Yuki saw an older man in his mid forties looking rather unhappy. He was a short, pudgy man with a mostly bald head. Yuki pressed the button on his side to roll down his window slowly. "Yes?"

"Excuse me, but is there a problem?" The man asked with more than just a hint of annoyance in his voice. Yuki looked over to Shuichi then at the man.

"Not yet." He replied dryly. "Why? Do you think there's a problem?" The man's face turned a beet red. In fact the bald spot on his head was even red causing Shuichi to giggle a bit.

"Is this funny to you?" The man demanded to know. The singer immediately became silent. Yuki gave a side glance to Shuichi before looking back at the man with a smile.

"I think it's hilarious." He stated and rolled his window back up. The man was now screaming profanities but at this point all they could hear were muffled noises. "What a nuisance." The car zoomed off with such speed that the man had to jump back in shock. Shuichi held on to the sides of his seats. Yuki then slowed down. "Oh, I went the wrong way. This is your fault you know." The singer's eyes narrowed. How was that his fault? Clearly, the one who was driving was not him. A light shone brightly behind them but was so small it went unnoticed. A name flashed onto the screen: Tohma.

No one was picking up. There wasn't a note left, this became even more troubling for him. Tohma dropped his phone on the couch and sat down next to it. Placing his hands on his face, he tried to think of where the two could have gone. Why would they have gone? If they had a date wouldn't they had left a note? The next few moments were used to find reasons. Any reason that might have made them leave. Looking around he noticed all their things were still here. It looked as if they were in a rush to leave. However, what was the rush? Why wouldn't they tell him? He distantly wondered if he should call Tatsuha and figure out if he knew anything. Tatsuha, for some reason, always had the scoop. Tohma never knew why that was. As he began to ponder for a moment on that subject, the sound of a motorcycle roared into his driveway. The blonde waited a moment to see if someone would come and knock on his door. It didn't take long for a loud knock to echo across the house. Tohma immediately opened the door with a smile.

"Ah, Tatsuha!" He said happily. "What brings you here?" Tatsuha looked at Tohma in shock.

"Aren't you supposed to be at work?" He questioned with a hint of anxiety. It was a hint that Tohma noted well. It did seem that Tatsuha was shocked to see him. Why would he be shocked to see him at his own house? "Is my brother here?"

"No." Tohma replied with his smile still not wavering. He knew something was up but he couldn't say that a loud. He needed to observe Tatsuha's reaction to his answer. He looked slightly relieved but still nervous.

"Ah, so they already left." Tatsuha mumbled to himself. Tohma picked up on the words easily and his smile broadened. Immediately, Tatsuha noticed his mistake and turned around quickly. However, Tohma was just as quick and his hand grasped his ex-brother-in-law's shoulder.

"And where did they go to?" He asked with a smile. Tatsuha's eyes widened as he realized what he was up against. There was no way he could win.

Far from the two men, Mika was getting ready for her new marriage. She had only met the man once and he seemed somewhat reliable. However, could she depend on him for the rest of her life? She sighed. As long as he didn't find men attractive, she was fine. She couldn't lose another husband to another man. What a pervert! She thought. Tohma was probably in heaven. She always knew he had a thing for her brother. He probably married her because she looked so much like her brother. Well, he didn't meet him until after they started dating. Could that mean she was that manly looking. Mika looked into the mirror and frowned. She didn't want to wear a headpiece but her father insisted. Her last marriage was western, she was allowed to forgo that piece of attire. She looked down at the arm of her quilted robe and distantly wondered if white was her color. It made her look a bit more tan which in turn made her think about herself as looking more manly. Her face tensed. How could she be thinking about something like that on her wedding day?

"I never realized that you would look so beautiful again!" Her father praised her but she felt no happiness from it. Was she really just as beautiful as when she married Tohma? She didn't have the white hat thing. She touched it. Was this really necessary? It was going to be a long ceremony and she didn't want unnecessary weight! Turning to look at her father, he looked so proud. "Finally you can wear your mother's kimono." Mika smiled halfheartedly. It looked like she was going to have to stay with the funny looking hat. The robe had the family crest of her soon to be husband woven in. It looked like she couldn't use this robe for another occasion. Just in case this husband decides to run as well. However, the kimono underneath had been her mother's. The funny looking hat had also been hers. It was the first time Mika felt close to her mother again. She also felt a little pity for what she had to go through for their father. 'Alright mom.' Mika thought. 'I'll wear the hat.'

"Remember after the ceremony, you have to complete the paper work and put your name into his family registry." Her father informed her. "I can't believe you have procrastinated on that. That is how you truly get married. Here is the paperwork." He handed her a few papers. "Remember to do it and hand it in." Mika stared at the paperwork. Without it, the marriage would be meaningless. With it, the marriage would still be meaningless to her at least.

"Where is that brat! Why is it that he is the one late to his own sister's wedding?" She could hear her father's voice outside her room. A sudden sadness washed over her. She didn't know how it came or how she would be able to defeat it. She had to go on. This wasn't a fairytale. There was no prince charming waiting for her. This wasn't a movie either. She smiled a little as she looked at herself once again in the mirror. There wasn't anyone who would care. So, why should she.

"I don't mind if Eiri comes or not." She told him in a calm tone. Why should she, he was one of the reasons she lost her husband. She lost his love way before the divorce. Way before she even cheated. To be unloved was to painful. To forget, would be better. Perhaps pretending to be happy will make her ultimately happy.

"It isn't Eiri." The father responded. "It's Tatsuha." Mika's eyes widened. Wasn't he on her side more than anyone else. She smiled back at her father.

"Happiness doesn't wait." She told him and kissed his cheek. She walked passed him and greeted Eiri and Shuichi as they walked down the hall. Her father was left contemplating his decisions. Wondering why her eyes were not smiling.

Shuichi took a seat on the floor. He looked around at everyone sitting rather properly. He just wanted to sit Indian style. However, Yuki was very big on telling him not to ruin the wedding. How could Shuichi do as he was told? It was so boring. Mika and her homely fiancé both sat properly in the front. Her father came up with a few items in his hands. Everyone was quiet. No one even whispered to each other. Mika and her fiancé didn't even twitch. This was torture. It was complete and utter torture. He felt the urge to stop the wedding. However, his reasoning had changed from before. Now he just wanted to be freed from boredom. It was selfish but he didn't see how anyone could be enjoying this. Why was it so silent? Soon after he thought of this, Mika and her fiancé began their vow with Buddha.

"Is it done now?" Shuichi whispered. Yuki just hit the back of his head.

"Idiot, that was just the beginning." Yuki harshly whispered back. Shuichi sighed. Most Japanese traditional weddings were Shinto. However, Yuki's father was a Buddhist monk and so, the boring Buddhist wedding begun. Shuichi felt himself wishing for a Shinto or western style marriage. At least it would be short and lively. Or at least, that is what he assumed. The two began to drink something that the monk gave them as the large growl of a motorcycle was heard. Suguru, who had been sitting in the crowd at the time glanced in the direction of the sound with a rather annoyed expression. Shuichi guessed it was because he was on time and Tatsuha, the brother of the bride, was not. However, he didn't move. No one moved no matter how annoyed they looked. They wanted the wedding to proceed with normal speed. One brother wasn't enough to delay a wedding. Mika stared at her cup and wondered how she was going to spend the rest of her days. The monk motioned her to go to the next cup. She had to drink from all three cups. Three cups, three sips each. It was supposed to be some religious thing symbolizing something about the Buddha. Mika didn't care. She just hoped the wine was strong enough to get her drunk. Her soon to be husband was a factory owner. What an odd job? She guess it wasn't as odd as being an owner of a music company. At least this guy wasn't a celebrity. She didn't have to live under scrutiny. Looking over at him, she had to hide a smile. With that face how could he be a celebrity. She frowned. There must have been better looking factory owners out there somewhere. There was still the sound of the engine outside. Yuki's father wondered why Tatsuha hadn't come in. Then the motorcycle noise got louder almost intentionally. Yuki's father looked as if he was going to pop and somehow so did Suguru.

"What is that idiot doing?" Suguru mumbled. "He's the one who forced me to go and he doesn't even show." Shuichi scooted closer to Yuki hoping not to be in any radius of Suguru's current death glare. Didn't they just make up? Weren't they lovey-dovey now? Yuki pushed him from him immediately. The world was just too cruel. The motorcycle got louder as Tatsuha yelling something was heard. Mika looked over in the direction as the monk tried desperately to get her to the third cup. Yuki's father stood up determined to stop the racket. How was his only daughter to get married with such noise? Yuki's eyes got wide when the yelling got louder. He had a bad feeling almost instantly. He grabbed Shuichi's arm and pulled him towards the wall as a loud crash sounded. The motorcycle burst through one of the flimsy walls and drove right into the center. The motorcyclist was followed by Tatsuha desperately chasing his bike.

"NOT MY BIKE!" Tatsuha lamented the damage that might have been caused to his precious ride. Shuichi looked at Tatsuha then at the motorcyclist who was still wearing his helmet.

"Wait, what's going on?" He questioned. The motorcyclist extended his hand to Mika. She looked at her fiancé then the monk and finally at the motorcyclist. She gave him a bewildered look. Every girl dreams of a prince saving the day. A prince riding in and snatching her from evil clutches. However, Mika was not a child. She didn't have time to fantasize about such things. Instead, she reached for the third cup. The ceremony wasn't even partly over. Besides, did she even know the guy on the motorcycle. He could be worse off than the factory owner.

"Is that what you want?" The motorcyclist echoed in his own helmet. "Marrying a guy you don't even love?" Mika smiled cruelly.

"I did it once before." The man dropped his hand. Mika looked off. "The bad thing was I learned to love him while we were together. I can probably do that again." The motorcyclist paused for a moment and got off the bike. Tatsuha immediately raced to it and almost hugged it as Suguru glared at him. The helmet fell to the ground with a loud clank. Tohma extended his hand again.

"I can't let you do that." Shuichi froze. Part of him wanted this but the other part didn't. Part of him wanted Mika to be happy. However, he forgot that in order to make her happy he had to let go of someone. Someone he wasn't prepared to let go so soon. Tohma looked unsure. He looked scared and remorseful. However, he knew he had to do this to save her. Whether she refused or not wouldn't matter. Shuichi knew the moment Tohma rode that motorcycle, he wasn't thinking of him. He was thinking of her. "Don't do this." Yuki's father had enough.

"I understand my daughter has wronged you in the past but you not only wronged her back but even wronged my son!" He spoke as softly as he could for someone at the brim of his anger. "I thought you would know your place by now! It is not by my daughter's side. How dare you ruin her opportunity for happiness after you took away the very life that was in her. How dare you ask her to stop when you still parade with that boy. How dare you selfishly request things from her at all! I want you gone! Out of here forever!" Mika looked down almost at the same time as Shuichi. Yuki looked at Shuichi and sighed. He stood up about to put in his two cents about the situation when something stopped him. Shuichi grabbed his arm and shook his head. This wasn't about them. It never was. They were merely tools. Yuki was Mika's and Shuichi was Tohma's. A way to hurt each other. No one heals when tools are always used. Shuichi refused to be used any longer. Yuki should learn to do the same. Tohma dropped to his knees and bowed his head lowly.

"Forgive me. For breaking your daughter's heart. For leaving her alone when she needed me the most." He spoke softly. Everyone's breath caught in their throat as he bowed his head towards the floor again. "Forgive me." Mika looked at him bowing down like he had done the worse thing in the world. Tears began to well up in her eyes. How could he be so reckless? This wasn't anything like Tohma. He thought things through. He was never like this at all.

"Get up." Mika's voice quivered as she spoke. "Are you done making a fool out of me? Are you done humiliating my future husband's family?" Tohma looked up at her.

"Mika-san." He barely uttered. Mika looked down unhappily and her future husband took note of it. He didn't know exactly what was going on but he knew that this man was making her feel horrible. The man rose up and produced the marriage papers. Tohma didn't even notice him until he was directly in front of him.

"Usagi-san, already signed the papers." He notified the blonde. "Once we send this to the government office there is no way you can interfere in her life. I will make sure she never sees you again." Tohma stood up with a puzzled look. It was almost like it was feigned.

"She really signed that?" He asked trying to look at the paper work. The man thrusted the paper work to him. Tohma grabbed the paper work softly and immediately looked to find Mika's signature and stamp.

"Read for yourself." The man was too cocky for his own good. Judging by his looks he probably didn't want to give up an opportunity to be with a pretty woman. Tohma saw her name and the stamp. So, it was true. Not soon after, the sound of the papers being ripped up echoed across the room. Tohma smiled happily.

"Oh, my." He said as he opened his hands to let the pieces fall. "I guess you can't send them in now." The fiancé desperately try to collect the shreds. How could this happen? As this scene went on, an old woman with small glasses came up next to the shaken groom.

"How dare you ruin my son's wedding." She spoke with a horse voice. "He has been waiting all his fifty-three years for a perfect bride." Yuki's father looked taken aback.

"Fifty-three? I thought you said he was in his thirties." The monk exclaimed. The old woman merely glanced in his direction.

"If I said any older than he would have never had a wedding. Take pity on an old lady." The old woman turned to Mika. "Besides, he barely looks his age isn't that right child?" Mika looked at the man and nodded a bit hesitantly. Tohma was busy staring at the man's head. There was something not right about it. He then reached out and grabbed the man's hair. Immediately it came off.

"I thought so." He spoke happily. The man desperately tried to cover up his comb over. His mother was quick to try to shield him from Tohma. Mika looked upon this commotion with a mixture of shock and amusement. It was Shuichi that broke the silence of the crowd. His laugh was loud and he made no effort to silence it. Yuki looked at him like he was crazy. However, it wasn't until long that he began to snicker as well. The man looked funny with his mostly failed comb over. Suguru even began to giggle. Tatsuha hadn't been paying attention to the commotion was still hugging his motorcycle. Tohma even gave an uncharacteristic laugh. He had to admit the whole situation was funny.

"Tell me, Mika." Tohma spoke dropping the san. Dropping the space between them. "Is he what you want?"

"I'll answer for her!" The old lady shouted. "My son will have no part of this wedding! We have been humiliated enough. Your daughter wasn't that much of a catch." Yuki's father glared at the lady. How could she say that his beautiful, young daughter wasn't much of a catch.

"But mom." The man whined as he was dragged out. Mika watched as they walked off and smiled softly. She almost made a mistake. Still, he mad a convincing thirty-something year old. If it wasn't for the wig. Mika immediately took off her head piece and gave it to her dad.

"I'm tired. I'm going to my room." Tohma went to follow her but her father stopped him.

"You aren't her husband anymore." Tohma felt a hand on his shoulder. Looking back he saw Yuki with Shuichi next to him.

"Let's go home. Let her have some time." Tohma nodded. Yuki's father looked as if he was about to say something but Yuki stopped him. "We'll talk later." Shuichi watched the array of emotions on everybody as they left. It mirrored his own confusion about his own emotions. It was time to stop playing house. It was time to figure out where they wanted to be.

Mika opened her bag and pulled out the stuffed animal Tohma won her recently. She punched it and stuck it in a corner. She began to feel things akin to Shuichi. She had to choose where she wanted to be too. And no matter who made the decision, it would be a hard road for them both.


	17. Chapter 16

Author note: Trying to stay on top of things now

* * *

Tohma woke up before anyone else. He didn't have the nerve to face his other two roommates. What would he say to them? They saw him in his most vulnerable form and it wasn't for either of their sake. He was a fool. Even though he came to like Shuichi, he still had a soft spot for Eiri. He felt like he betrayed them both instead of just one of them. He didn't want to be selfish. He wanted everything to be right the way it use to be. However, after everything they all went through could anything be alright? Tohma knew he couldn't pursue Mika. Too much animosity was between them before, could they ever be together again? He loved her. He still loved her. She probably hated him. It was best to leave well enough alone. However, what was he to say to Shuichi and Eiri. Should he tell them his feelings? No, if he did he was sure they would hate him for it. A traitor. That is what he had become. Was it right to stay with the two? If Shuichi chose one of them in the end, his time with them both would be over. If he chose Eiri, he would be alone again. Was there no where for him?

He quickly got dressed for work. Although, he had slept through the whole night his eyes and form looked worn-out. He sighed. If others didn't mention it to him, he would pay it no mind. He was the president of the company. He knew that very few would even dare to mention it. All he had to do was look at them and usually they were quiet. As long as he continued to smile, perhaps he could convince himself he was happy. Placing on his jacket, he wondered about such a thought. What would give him happiness. Many people have said that they didn't know they were happy until it was taken from them. Tohma understood them finally. He was happy in a way with Mika. She made him calm like a dog with a proper master. Tohma shook his head. Wasn't he to be the master of his own house? However, Mika was the one who usually got him to do certain things. He never controlled her. Perhaps that is what scared him the most in their relationship. Shuichi was easy to control. A pang of guilt ran through his heart. He truly was a traitor. It was best for the traitor to leave before others noticed. As he walked down the stairs his eyes met Eiri's. Taken aback, Tohma tried to search the room for a closer exit. There was only one and Eiri was blocking it.

"You're up early." Eiri commented bitterly. Tohma distantly wondered if he was angry or that was just his normal attitude. Tohma looked around the room. What could he say to Eiri that would sound like a believable reason.

"I was going to walk the dog." Tohma lied smoothly. Eiri stared at him with a look of contempt. Tohma immediately knew he was suspicious. Even though Tohma was rather skilful at lying, Eiri did know him for a long time. He probably got use to the way Tohma spoke when he lied.

"Really? In your work clothes?" He asked folding his arms over his chest. "He's up there with Shuichi, sleeping. I wouldn't advise you to wake them." Tohma sighed. This wasn't getting anywhere. He decided to just exit the room regardless of where Eiri was standing. His hand brushed against Eiri's shoulder trying to signal him to move. Eiri didn't move. "Trying to avoid the situation won't help you." This made Tohma pause for a moment as he contemplated Eiri's words. Was he trying to help him? The past few days spent with the two were like that. It was almost like they had some sort of cooperation. Why couldn't Eiri be a worse man and have some sort of joy in this development? Why did he have to act like he cared? It didn't stop him from leaving in the end and he walked out to his car. Eiri sighed. This was going to be harder than he thought.

Tohma pulled out his keys as he noticed his body was trembling slightly. Was he afraid? No, he's never been afraid. He just needed to calm down. All this anxiety was going to get him sick. Driving off, he decide to leave his worries and his fear at his house.

Eiri sat down in his office wondering what step to take next. The house was too big and too silent for his tastes. He needed to get out a new piece of work but wasn't sure exactly what to do. The house seemed to be empty and barren of life. This wasn't going to help him with his new story. He smiled bitterly. It was ironic. When he lived with Shuichi, all he thought about was having a quiet workplace. Now everything was quiet but the air was stagnant with unsaid arguments. They weren't fighting but that was even worse. How could he work in an environment where no one dared to look at the other person? He placed his head in his hands. He needed to get out. Peering to the door, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette. He really should quit but the situation would make that impossible. Sighing, he lit it up.

The door opened slowly and Yuki dropped his cigarette in the ashtray. Shuichi peered over to him from the slightly opened door. No words were said and all Yuki did was nod. Shuichi then slowly entered and closed the door behind him.

"He's gone already isn't he?" He questioned meekly. Yuki looked down and nodded. The singer looked down slightly. "I thought so."

"What do you want to do?" The writer asked the younger man. Shuichi looked up confused. How could he know the answer to that question so soon? He shook his head slightly and sat down on the ground. "I'm not going to make the decision for you."

"I didn't ask you to!" Shuichi shouted at him. Yuki smiled and went back to smoking. "I just need time to think."

"I think we gave you plenty of time." The writer told him crossing one leg over the other. "Don't you think now you should start to come to a conclusion? Leading us by the nose is just cruel." There was a small hint of amusement in his voice. Even now, Shuichi felt that Yuki was playing around with him. For some reason, he was trying to find something and it made Shuichi even more angry.

"You're the one to talk about being cruel." Shuichi spat. Yuki smiled widely. Shuichi was taken aback. How could he just smile after being insulted?

"Is this what you want to say to me or to Tohma?" Shuichi looked up at the writer with wide eyes. Was he really angry at Tohma this whole time? Yuki took another drag from his cigarette. It looked calming. His delicate fingers wrapped around the cigarette. The slow movements of him bringing it to him and away. Shuichi couldn't understand why he could be so calm when everything was crashing down. Or perhaps everything was crashing down only on him. Yuki had no need to worry about Tohma. As a rival, he should be completely calm. Of course, he would be glad this happened.

"Unfortunately, I can't think of this as amusing as you do." Shuichi told him, his eyes stinging. Yuki looked off from him. "I won't be going to work."

"How mature." Yuki commented. The singer looked up and glared at him. What did he want him to say? Was this a game to him? Was he losing?

"What else am I supposed to do?" Shuichi asked desperately. Yuki shrugged and continued smoking. "Well?" No words were uttered. Puffs of smoke filled the air. This room was too small. The house was large but the room was way too small. The smoke filled it completely threatening to choke Shuichi. "Answer me, damn it!" His voice was quivering.

"Why don't you ask him?" Yuki suggested with intense eyes. Shuichi looked at him confused. He blinked a couple of times, trying to register what just happened.

"What?" He barely asked as his voice didn't seem to come out. Yuki dug his cigarette into the ashtray. The cigarette lost it's long elegant form as it was crumpled into nothing.

"You heard me."

Tohma hurried to his office trying not to be caught up in any conversation by his employees. He passed them without a second thought. He passed them without even acknowledging their existence. He didn't want anyone to see him. He felt that even if he used his usual smiling façade that his emotions would shine through. His twisted bewilderment and cruel intentions would seep through his smile. Anyone who saw him would know of his horrible nature. How disgusting and distorted he had become. How could he love two people at the same time? As he approached the door to his office, he was stopped by a person waiting in front of his door.

"Ryuichi-san?" Tohma's voice sounded weak. Ryuichi smiled happily at Tohma and took off his sun glasses. "Why?" It was as if all his strength left him. He leaned his head on the shorter man's shoulders.

"I was invited to Mika's wedding, quite a show that became." Ryuichi's tone sounded calmer and more mature than what Tohma was use to. "Aren't you happy to see me?" Tohma smiled softly. Happy wasn't the word he would use. Relieved was probably better.

"I thought I hadn't a friend to confide in." Tohma spoke with a slight quiver in his voice. "I thought I was alone." Ryuichi started to laugh and hugged Tohma tightly.

"Silly Tohma!" He started to sound more like his old self. "You always got me!" Tohma smiled softly and placed his forehead on Ryuichi's. It was comforting to have a friend when you were in need. Most of the time when Tohma had problems, he would be left to solve them on his own. Ryuichi was still childish even if an unrequited love had matured him. Could Tohma lean on such a person? Could he ask such a person for advice on his troubles? Sighing, the CEO moved away from Ryuichi. The man smiled happily without a care in the world. There was no way he could. Even if Ryuichi said he was there for him, he couldn't be of any help.

"Come in." He told the singer opening the door to his office. "Do you want anything?" Ryuichi had the largest smile on his face that it seemed humanly impossible. He sat down in a chair and looked up at the still standing Tohma. The man had given him infinite possibilities. It was like a dream come true.

"Cake." He answered happily. He did feel like sweets at the moment.

"Other than cake." Tohma informed him with a polite smile.

"Ice cream."

"Other than ice cream."

"Candy?" Tohma sighed. This wasn't getting anywhere.

"How about tea?" He suggested. Ryuichi's face scrunched up.

"No." After Ryuichi spoke he started to pout. Tohma said he could have anything. Apparently he wasn't saying the truth. If he could have anything then there should at least be pocky.

"You haven't come around lately." Tohma spoke. "Afraid to see him?" Ryuichi looked up at him confused.

"Not really." He informed the blonde. "He never knew so I don't feel betrayed or anything. Besides he is happy with your cousin right?" Ryuichi smiled but there was a slight hint of longing in it. Tohma knew that type of feeling. You want the one you love to be happy even if it causes you to be lonely. Ryuichi understood this the best.

"Are you happy?" Tohma asked. Ryuichi looked over at him and nodded. After all this time, why wouldn't he be? Tohma smiled back at his friend and sighed. He might as well give it a shot. Sometimes Ryuichi could say the most profound things. It was odd how he could do that so suddenly. He knew if he told him about his problems, Ryuichi would at least have something to say regardless if it was his childish side or not.

"I'm a horrible person." He confessed. The singer looked at him as if he had grown another head. This wasn't like the Tohma he knew. Why would he say such a thing? "I love Shuichi but I love Mika. I know my love for Shuichi may or may not be genuine. I may have used him because I was lonely."

"Don't we find love because we are lonely?" Tohma's eyes widened as Ryuichi's smiling face became sober. He looked at the ex-keyboardist with a completely mature face. Tohma placed his hand on his head. What was he doing?

"No." Tohma responded. "We aren't all desperately seeking like that." Ryuichi gave off a chuckle. It wasn't like his playful laughter or a cute giggle. It was full of cynicism. He must have changed over the years as well. This wasn't like Ryuichi. Tohma didn't know if he should continue. After all, he never wanted to see a bitter Ryuichi. He never thought one would exist. Tohma leaned back against his desk deciding to just forget talking to him. He didn't need Ryuichi's bitterness rubbing off on him. Suddenly the singer smiled happily as if nothing happened. Perhaps it wasn't bitterness. Perhaps Ryuichi wanted him to feel better. Maybe he was trying to say that it was natural to seek love in that state. In that case, he would see what Ryuichi thought of the problem he was currently faced with. "I want what is best for Shuichi. I also want to be with Mika but I know we can never go back to what we were before." Ryuichi laughed. It wasn't cruel laughter like Tohma had partly expected. It was just a normal laugh. Even though there was no malice behind the laugh, Tohma wasn't sure if what he said was funny. To him it was a real dilemma. How could the singer laugh so easily?

"Isn't the past already over?" Ryuichi cheerfully asked. "Of course you can't go back. Sometimes I got people real mad at me. I was so sad at the time. But it is the past. You can't change it." Ryuichi's smile faded. "History isn't made with ifs and should haves. It is made with what happened. You can't change it. You can't let what you did back then rule what you do now. You can only step forward." Tohma felt amused. He was gaining insight from a man child.

"Which way should I step?" Tohma asked. Ryuichi shook his head and sighed.

"Don't know!" He laughed. Tohma let out a small giggle. He knew Ryuichi's seriousness wouldn't last long. "Oh no! I'm late!" The singer bolted up from his chair.

"To what?" Tohma wasn't sure what was going on. "If you had another appointment why see me?" Ryuichi smiled cheekily at the man.

"Because we are friends, duh!" With that he ran out the door. "Cheer up soon, Tohma!" He shouted. Tohma smiled happily. Ryuichi didn't seem to have changed that much. It was comforting to have one or two things remain the same.

As Ryuichi rushed down the hall, a familiar face caused him to stop. Tatsuha walked by with his head held low. Suguru was bugging him about the scene he helped cause at Mika's wedding. It wasn't his fault. Tohma was a strong man when he wanted to be. Suguru should be mad at Tohma. He was the one that stole his bike and crashed it through the wall. Did his boyfriend really think he would have allowed that man to crash his beautiful bike through a wall? A hand grabbed his shoulder ceasing his thoughts. Turning around he saw Ryuichi looking quite mature.

"Been a while." Ryuichi started. Tatsuha smiled at him. For some reason after he started to date Suguru, he hadn't seen Ryuichi for the longest time. Perhaps their schedules conflicted. Even though he no longer thought of Ryuichi with his childish fancy, they were still friends. Or at least that is what he thought. "I'm glad I bumped in to you."

"Me too." Tatsuha spoke. "I heard you were in the hospital for a hurt ankle." The latter part of the sentence was spoken with a chuckle. Ryuichi smiled but Tatsuha noticed it seemed forced. Perhaps he didn't like the fact he thought it was funny.

"There is no more pain." Ryuichi remarked with that he went to walk away. Tatsuha watch him leave slowly but then stop when he was a bit away from him. It was as if he was thinking of what to say or mustering up courage. Courage for what? "You better be happy, Tatsuha." The younger man looked over at his ex idol with a puzzled look.

"I am." He informed the singer. There was a small laugh from him as he turned to face Tatsuha.

"Good!" He spoke joyfully with the same cheeky smile he gave Tohma earlier. "I'm going to find someone that will make me happy too! Just wait and see, Tatsuha!" He ran off proud and accomplished. He was able to say what he wanted to. He knew Tatsuha was into him and was waiting for him to take action. For some reason, he never did. In the end he wound up with Suguru. In hindsight, Ryuichi felt that he should have attacked him. After all, Tatsuha was pretty dense when it came to noticing his feelings for him. Ryuichi smiled and lifted his head up high as he left the building. It was alright that things happen the way they did. When problems arise and things don't go as they should new doors show up. Now he could open the doors to a new love and perhaps and even better love. Tatsuha, on the other hand, had no idea what just occurred. What was all that about?

Tohma sat in his office. He wasn't going to get any work done today. He knew that there wasn't anything to make him feel motivated about working. What he had to do was sort out the problems in his head. He was always firm about leaving your problems at the door. A work place was meant only for work. However, recently he had been viewing it more as an escape. He sighed heavily as his fingers went through his hair. How could he leave these problems at the door. There was a soft knock on his door. Tohma looked up at the door for a short moment but decided to ignore it. If he ignored it, the person would go away. He still didn't want to be seen by anyone. He felt like his company was like an army. If the general seems noticeably stressed then the army's morale would plummet. Ryuichi gave him some sound advice. He shouldn't torture himself with the wrongs he committed in the past. He couldn't change them no matter what he did. Things might just happen for a reason. He took his wife for granted and hated Shuichi. If things didn't happen the way it did, he would never have been friendly with Shuichi and even loved him. If the divorce didn't happen, he would have never realized how much love he had for someone he paid little mind to. The knock got louder. Why was this person so persistent? Couldn't he feel the atmosphere? He wasn't in the room but he was certain his bad vibes were seeping through the door.

"Come in." Tohma spoke. He didn't care if this person saw his ill natured side. He wasn't going to endure countless knocks. The younger man entered timidly and gave a shy smile to Tohma. The CEO felt his breath caught into his throat. "Shuichi."

"I'm sorry to interrupt you." He spoke softly. Tohma fidgeted nervously. This was the last person he wanted to see him in such a state. After the ordeal at the wedding, how was he supposed to clear that up? He motioned for Shuichi to sit down and wondered if he should offer him anything. "Let me get straight to the point." Shuichi looked up at Tohma, who had just stood up from his chair, with determination. "Do you want to be with me or not?" Tohma gulped. What was he saying?

"Shuichi-san."

"Answer me." Tohma was afraid to answer. He didn't know what he should say or how to say it. It was a question that was forcing him to do the one thing he was most afraid of: choose. Shuichi was also afraid. He was afraid to hear the answer. Tohma looked away from him. He didn't want Shuichi to see his face. He felt ashamed by the answer that came up in his head.

"Well, I don't know." Tohma spoke. He knew he was giving Shuichi nothing.

"Don't know?" Shuichi looked disappointed but not hurt. It was rather mature of him. Shuichi and Ryuichi were still very similar. They both were very strong. Tohma wished that he could have some of that strength. With it, he probably wouldn't be confused at all. "Please figure it out soon. I will be choosing who I will stay with in three days."

"Why?" Tohma asked unhappy that his time with them both would be cut short.

"I can't live like this." Shuichi told him. "I can't chase both of you around. I can only chase one. So, please figure it out." He left shortly after speaking. Tohma stayed frozen in his office. How could Shuichi ask him to figure it out in such a short time period? What was he going to do?

* * *

I know this is rather short for a chapter. I thought you might like to see Ryuichi since he was MIA and get to know his side of the story.


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